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The news media have become too much influential in people's lives nowadays and this is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

The news media have become too much influential in people's lives nowadays and this is a negative development. v. 2
In today’s modern world, the news media has been a matter of great concern. It is true to say that the new trend has adversely affected everyone daily life, however, perhaps its merits outweigh its drawback. People’s decisions and reasoning have been much affected by the news. Since media persons are highly revered, accordingly, we truly trust the information we receive from media. For example, during the world war II, Hitler used the German media to spread false news about atrocities over German people living in other European countries to mentally prepare everyone in Germany to gear up for war. Therefore, as this example shows, modern news media representing the values of their owners, societies and governments, tend to report wars with a bias, the readers sometimes detrimentally affected by the fake news. Besides any potentially misleading information, the news media have equipped the world with the information it needs for better survival. As people in the East get posted on what is going around the West and vice versa, cultural awareness is promoted. School children learn to appreciate cultural differences across the globe, hence their greater tolerance as they mature. Entrepreneurs get to comprehend their next target market and how to secure it both culturally and economically. This is well illustrated by the evidence that Starbucks would not have entered India had it not known of the country' s growing taste for coffee. Also, online news channels help to distribute news at Hermes' speed, revealing social adversities and praising good deeds. In conclusion, It is unfair to label news media as harmful to people' s lives, as in fact, they have contributed to social prosperity.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s modern world, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has been a matter of great concern. It is true to say that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
trend has
adversely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
everyone daily life,
however
, perhaps its merits outweigh its drawback.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
’s decisions and reasoning have been much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
persons are
highly
revered,
accordingly
, we
truly
trust the information we receive from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
.
For example
, during the
Capitalize specific historic events, episodes, and eras.
world war II
, Hitler
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
the German
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to spread false
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
about atrocities over German
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in other European countries to mentally prepare everyone in Germany to gear up for war.
Therefore
, as this example
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
representing the values of their owners, societies and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
, tend to report wars with a bias, the readers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
detrimentally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the fake news.

Besides
any
potentially
misleading information, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have equipped the world with the information it needs for better survival. As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the East
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
posted on what is going around the West and vice versa, cultural awareness
is promoted
. School children learn to appreciate cultural differences across the globe,
hence
their greater tolerance as they mature. Entrepreneurs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to comprehend their
next
target market and how to secure it both
culturally
and
economically
. This is well illustrated by the evidence that Starbucks would not have entered India had it not known of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s growing taste for coffee.
Also
, online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channels
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to distribute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hermes&
#039; speed, revealing social adversities and praising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
deeds.

In conclusion
, It is unfair to label
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
as harmful to
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, as in fact, they have contributed to social prosperity.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay The news media have become too much influential in people's lives nowadays and this is a negative development. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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