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The news media have become too much influential in people's lives nowadays and this is a negative development. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

The news media have become too much influential in people's lives nowadays and this is a negative development. v. 1
These days a lot of sugar-based drinks are consumed by consumers. Moreover, some people are sugar drink addicts. Therefore, this essay will discuss what are the reasons why people love drinking sugar drinks. In addition, this essay will find out what are the solutions to make people drink less. There are many reasons why people drink a lot of sugar drinks. One of the many reasons is the consumption of a lot of sugar drinks become sugar addiction. Many children love sugar taste because many households consume a lot of sugar. Although the consumption of sugar drinks has many unhealthy issues such as diabetes and obesity, many households don’t stop consuming it. Another reason is that the consumption of sugar drinks gives much energy. Some people drink it when they are feeling tired, they believe it helps to refresh. Moreover, many advertisements make people believe that sugar drinks give much energy. As a result, people who take in a lot of sugar for a long time become a patient because of sugar. Many researchers are studying the behaviour of the sugar drink consumption of the people. One of the factors, which lead the solutions to reduce a number of the sugar consumption of people, is the use of sugar from fruits instead of sugar. If a drink industry sold drinks that make from fruits, costumers would drink less sugar drinks. As a result, the consumption of sugar drink of fruits makes people have more choices to consume for sugar avoidance. In conclusion, if customers have more alternative drinks, which is the same taste as sugar, to consume, they would choose the best one.
These days a
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lot
of sugar-based
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drinks
are consumed
by consumers.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
are
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sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drink
addicts.
Therefore
, this essay will discuss what are the
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reasons
why
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
drinking
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sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
.
In addition
, this essay will find out what are the solutions to
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make
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drink
less.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drink
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
. One of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
is the
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consumption
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
addiction.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
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sugar
taste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
households consume a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
. Although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
unhealthy issues such as diabetes and obesity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
households don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
consuming it. Another
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reason
is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
gives much energy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drink
it when they are feeling tired, they believe it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to refresh.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advertisements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
give much energy.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who take in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
for a long time become a patient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of sugar.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
researchers are studying the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of the
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sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drink
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. One of the factors, which lead the solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
a number of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
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people
, is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
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sugar
from fruits
instead
of
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sugar
. If a
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drink
industry sold
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drinks
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
from fruits, costumers would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drink
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
.
As a result
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drink
of fruits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have more choices to consume for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
avoidance.

In conclusion
, if customers have more alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
, which is the same taste as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
, to consume, they would choose the best one.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay The news media have become too much influential in people's lives nowadays and this is a negative development. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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