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The most important thing about a job is how much money you earn in that job. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.1

The most important thing about a job is how much money you earn in that job. v. 1
Some people choose high paying jobs. Others prefer jobs they find satisfying even if the salary is low. While I admit that it is important to earn enough to make a living, in my opinion, job satisfaction is more important than the size of the pay package. Job satisfaction increases productivity. If people like their jobs, no one has to force them to go to work. No one has to supervise them. They will perform their job on their own and with utmost interest and concentration. This interest that they show will automatically improve the results and help them achieve more in less time. By contrast, people who choose a particular job just because it is paying well will find it rather difficult to stay motivated. They have to push themselves to work every morning. Because of this lack of interest in the job, they make more errors and take longer to finish tasks. As a result, they have to stay late at the office. The long working hours will eventually affect their health and family life. Take, for instance, the case of IT professionals. The IT industry pays well, but the jobs are extremely stressful and demanding. Someone who chooses a job in this industry just because the salaries are good will eventually burn out unable to cope with the pressures of the job. On the flip side, rewarding jobs may not always pay well at the beginning. But over time, the workers' enthusiasm and dedication will make the job a lucrative career option. For example, there are lots of people who turned their hobbies into successful career options. It was their love for the job that ultimately helped them. To conclude, job satisfaction is certainly more important than the money earned. If people love their job, eventually, they will also earn well.
Some
people
choose high paying jobs.

Others prefer
jobs
they find satisfying even if the salary is low.

While I admit that it is
important
to earn
enough
to
make
a living, in my opinion,
job
satisfaction is more
important
than the size of the pay package.

Job satisfaction increases productivity.

If
people
like their
jobs
, no one
has to
force them to go to work.

No one
has to
supervise them.

They will perform their
job
on their
own
and with utmost interest and concentration.

This interest that they
show
will
automatically
improve
the results and
help
them achieve more in less time.

By contrast,
people
who choose a particular
job
just
because
it is paying
well
will find it
rather
difficult to stay motivated.

They
have to
push themselves to work every morning.

Because of this
lack of interest in the
job
, they
make
more errors and take longer to finish tasks.

As a result
, they
have to
stay late at the office.

The long working hours will
eventually
affect their health and family life.

Take,
for instance
, the case of IT professionals.

The IT industry pays
well
,
but
the
jobs
are
extremely
stressful and demanding.

Someone who chooses a
job
in this industry
just
because
the salaries are
good
will
eventually
burn out unable to cope with the pressures of the job.

On the flip side, rewarding
jobs
may not always pay
well
at the beginning.

But
over time, the workers' enthusiasm and dedication will
make
the
job
a lucrative career option.

For example
, there are lots of
people
who turned their hobbies into successful career options.

It was their
love
for the
job
that
ultimately
helped
them.

To conclude
,
job
satisfaction is
certainly
more
important
than the money earned.

If
people
love
their
job
,
eventually
, they will
also
earn
well
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
As a hawk flieth not high with one wing, even so a man reacheth not to excellence with one tongue.
Roger Ascham

IELTS essay The most important thing about a job is how much money you earn in that job. v. 1

Essay
  American English
22 paragraphs
304 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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