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The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

Before choosing a career or a job people tend to consider the job opportunites and demands they might get after pursuing a certain course or applying for a certain job. Each and every country has different pay checks and each and every households have different needs or motives. The monetary value is without a doubt very important and necessary for and individual's survival in this rapidly fast moving world. But, we can't just ignore the other factors that will be coming into an individual's life after choosing a career or applying for a job. If we talk about choosing career, An individual should be passionate about the career he/she is opting. Just because higher monetary value is involved an individual should not choose a career. The monetary part will fade away after sometimes and that is where the troubles begins. People lose interest, get anxiety and feel depressed because they are not enjoying themselves in a particular line of career. For Instance, If an individual is working as a Manager in an MNC and he/she gets an opportunity to work as a chef somewhere else but they have no idea about cooking and are not passionate about cooking and they've accepted the said job just for sake of money then they would fail miserably. Also, before choosing a career an individual should acknowledge whether the career path they are choosing is ethical or not. For example, Gambling has lots of money involved, you win big and you lose big but that doesn't mean an individual can switch careers, because here in India, gambling is illegal. Talking about the job aspect, everyone is working to survive, if not everyone, then most of us, definitely yes. We do consider money before choosing a job. There is nothing wrong with it but the risks involved are too high. Before applying for a job, an individual should consider the value that the job would give it to him/her. These values can be in terms of emotions and experience and money, and then consider the amount of contribution they can give back to the company. These days, we the people, give so much importance to the monetary terms that we end up doing things we never wanted or dreamt of doing and we end up getting lonely and get depressed. Happiness and satisfaction are most important and most ignored parts of our lives. I Agree, that we consider the high pay before choosing a job and a career. To be honest, this is the only factor we consider. But we should always remember that the money will fade away, the value of money will fade away by time, So we should focus on the values that we get from the job or career would give to us and what will we give in return. For Instance, Sachin Tendulkar, Great indian batsman, succeeded only because he was passionate about cricket, not because he considered the money. His love and honesty for cricket led him to where he is today. This is how the universe works. Satisfaction and Love for the career or job is important, money will get through.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Before
choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consider
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
Possible spelling mistake found.
opportunites
and demands they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
after pursuing a certain course or applying for a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Each and every country has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
pay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checks
and each and every
The noun should probably be in the singular form: “household”?
households
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
needs or motives. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
is without a doubt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and necessary for and individual's survival in this
rapidly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
moving world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, we can't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the other factors that will be coming into an individual's life after choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
or applying for a job.

If we talk about choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
, An
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
should be passionate about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
he/she is opting.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monetary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
is involved
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
should not choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monetary
part will fade away after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
and
that is
where the troubles
You should probably use “begin”.
begins
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
lose interest,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
anxiety and feel depressed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not enjoying themselves in a particular line of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
.
For Instance
, If an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
is working as a Manager in an MNC and he/she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
an opportunity to work as a chef somewhere else
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about cooking and are not passionate about
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cooking and
they've
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
the said
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for sake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
then they would fail
miserably
.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
should acknowledge whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
path they are choosing is ethical or not.
For example
, Gambling has lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
involved, you win
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
big and
you lose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that doesn't mean an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
can switch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
careers
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
here in India, gambling is illegal.

Talking about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
aspect, everyone is working to survive, if not everyone, then most of us, definitely yes. We do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. There is nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
with
Use a comma before ‘but’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
involved are too high.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Before
applying for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consider
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
it to him/her. These values can be in terms of emotions and experience and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, and then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consider
the amount of contribution they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
back to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. These days, we the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much importance to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
monetary
terms that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up doing things we never wanted or dreamt of
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
doing and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up getting lonely and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
depressed. Happiness and satisfaction are most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
parts of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Agree
, that we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consider
the high pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
choosing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
. To be honest, this is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
factor we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consider
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
we should always remember that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will fade away, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
value
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will fade away by time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we should focus on the values that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
to us and what will we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
in return.

For Instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sachin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tendulkar
, Great
Possible spelling mistake found.
indian
batsman, succeeded
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he was passionate about cricket, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he considered the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. His
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and honesty for cricket led him to where he is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. This is how the universe works. Satisfaction and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Love
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
through.
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To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay The most important consideration when choosing any career or job is having a high income.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
523 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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