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Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.16

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. v. 16
Many argue that extending punishment for the prisoners is the paramount way to diminish offence, whilst another portion of the population thinks of different solutions. In my opinion, elongated jail will only result in profound enrage and revenge within the caged and will rather make them offenders forever. However, approaches like skill based training and counselling can work as remedies to reduce crime. This essay would elaborate both viewpoints. To commence with, the section that stresses on extending sentences for criminals, should first analyse the consequences in detail. Not only, stretching detainment to reduce criminal acts would result in anger, agony and injustice, but also develop retaliation in the detainees. Besides, they would hold law and order responsible for this. As reciprocation, this may enhance brutality in them and they may even turn fiercer, deteriorating the situation further. For instance, in one of the recent surveys done by WCD, criminals spending more than ten years in prison tend to commit misdeed repeatedly. Thus, extending punishment would not serve as the sole solution. On the other hand, there are certainly better ways to encounter this situation. Introducing the skill based trainings during their tenure of imprisonment can help the accused get scaled up and would motivate them to be part of the main stream in the future. As an add-on, counselling can show wonders. Studies have shown a 30% decrease in crime rate, where the detainees were trained and advocated in the jail. Nevertheless, sessions on high moral values, conflict and anger management can be fruitful and would definitely help them deal with real-life concerns in an improved, amicable manner. In conclusion, recommending thoughtful and sensible handling of captives is my strong say. Extending detainment is not at all a solution and would worsen the situation. Empowering them with skills and positive attitude towards life can definitely prove vital for the community.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
argue that extending punishment for the prisoners is the paramount way to diminish
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
, whilst another portion of the population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
solutions. In my opinion, elongated jail will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
result in profound enrage and revenge within the caged and will
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them offenders forever.
However
, approaches like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
based training and counselling can work as remedies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
crime. This essay would elaborate both viewpoints.

To commence with, the section that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stresses
on extending sentences for criminals, should
first
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the consequences in detail. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, stretching detainment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
criminal acts would result in anger, agony and injustice,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
develop retaliation in the detainees.
Besides
, they would hold law and order responsible for this. As reciprocation, this may enhance brutality in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they may even turn fiercer, deteriorating the situation
further
.
For instance
, in one of the recent surveys done by
Possible spelling mistake found.
WCD
, criminals spending more than ten years in prison tend to commit misdeed
repeatedly
.
Thus
, extending punishment would not serve as the sole solution.

On the other hand
, there are
certainly
better ways to encounter this situation. Introducing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
based trainings during their tenure of imprisonment can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the accused
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
scaled up and would motivate them to be part of the main stream in the future. As an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
-on, counselling can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
wonders. Studies have shown a 30% decrease in crime rate, where the detainees
were trained
and advocated in the jail.
Nevertheless
, sessions on high moral values, conflict and anger management can be fruitful and would definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them deal with real-life concerns in an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
, amicable manner.

In conclusion
, recommending thoughtful and sensible handling of captives is my strong say. Extending detainment is not at all a solution and would worsen the situation. Empowering them with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude towards life can definitely prove vital for the community.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages knows nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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