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The media should limit how much bad news they report because it discourage people from doing activities which usually involve very little sick. Do you agree or disagree? v.3

The media should limit how much bad news they report because it discourage people from doing activities which usually involve very little sick. v. 3
It is irrefutable that advancement in technology has taken mammoth dimensions in all over the universe. Some living souls opine that publication of worthless news on televisions should be reduced because it is not encourage some folks to do things which are commonly consider as miserable. I strongly appreciate this view as debatable. Due to the latest telecommunication, there is wild network of telecast available. As a result, news on the televisions are essential and frequent doing activity for many individuals. Firstly, it provides information from all over the world. For example, news based on the sports, crimes, politics, education, general knowledge and so on. Secondly, it keeps update from day to day life and surrounding. Lastly, it is rapid way to get aware from the world. Along with those benefits, there are convincing things that should be focused by media. They show good news but sometimes with good ones there are bad news too. The news on media broadcast so rapidly and by this bad news known in whole society. Sometimes it would affect the children and encourage them to do so. While for some people, news are inspiration so they accept them if it is worthless also. Sometime it would became fake news due to lack of sources of details. To put it in a nutshell, i personally believe that there is always some limit to do anything and across the limits it known as worthless. So telecast should aware about this and report every news as per requirement. However, news are important for every living souls.
It is irrefutable that advancement in technology has taken mammoth dimensions in all over the universe.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
living souls opine that publication of worthless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on televisions should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is not
Consider using a past participle here: "encouraged".
encourage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
folks to do things which are
commonly
Consider using a past participle here: "considered".
consider
as miserable. I
strongly
appreciate this view as debatable.

Due to the latest telecommunication, there is wild network of telecast available.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on the televisions are essential and frequent doing activity for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals.
Firstly
, it provides information from all over the world.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
based on the sports, crimes, politics, education, general knowledge and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Secondly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
update from day to day life and surrounding.
Lastly
, it is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a rapid".
rapid
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
aware from the world.

Along with those benefits, there are convincing things that should
be focused
by media. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
ones there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
too. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on media broadcast
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
rapidly
and by this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
known in whole society.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
it would affect the children and encourage them to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. While for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
are inspiration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they accept them if it is worthless
also
. Sometime it would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "become"
became
fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
due to lack of sources of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

To put it in a nutshell,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
personally
believe that there is always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limit to do anything and across the limits it known as worthless.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
telecast should aware about this and report every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
as per requirement.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for every living souls.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay The media should limit how much bad news they report because it discourage people from doing activities which usually involve very little sick. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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