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The man expresses his opinion about the proposal in the newspaper Briefly summarize the proposal. Then state the man's opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v.1

The man expresses his opinion about the proposal in the newspaper Briefly summarize the proposal. Then state the man's opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v. 1
We all live in a world where everyone is dependent on the other for various reasons, irrespective of the country, race, religion, gender and status of the individual. We often see people in need around us in the society every day, where our response can definitely make a difference to an extent. However, as individuals it is not possible to able to offer help beyond one's capabilities, even though we are highly empathetic in nature as humans. But a small contribution from each of us can bring in major changes over a period of time, firstly within the communities we live in and slowly transforming the nation on a larger scale. Henceforth, I do not agree with this idea concerning our society only. Lets us have a look at few needs on a global level. First and foremost, Every country is facing severe problems like Increase of population, lack of resources, poverty, health and environment. Though we often blame the government for these issues, it is people's duty to act responsibly, which might take us a step closer in achieving the big goals. For Instance, We might not control the harmful environmental effects throughout the nation from our home, but we can definitely change our attitude in using fuels, reduce the use of plastic and create awareness among the people standing as an example for other countries to make it possible. Thus, it is better to come up with innovative ideas and assistance, which eventually can lead to better solutions Similarly, in regards to the lack of resources, nations help each other by imports and exports, which will be profiting all the countries on the Whole. Likewise, agriculture and medical innovations in one country by the citizens over there are benefitting the people across the globe. Most of the gadgets we use today and the technology we utilise is not limited to our own country, which symbolises the support of the foreign land. Henceforth, it is proved that unknowing everyone is seeking help from a neighbouring person, state or country depending on the level of the problem. Being Concerned only about our premises will limit ourselves, which might stop the transformation. To conclude, people should help each other in their communities and at the same time think about the massive problems as well when necessary, which indirectly offers help to the higher section of the neighbourhoods or state or the world. Therefore, I do not accept that we can't help everyone in the world. We can indirectly assist instead of acting selfish by worrying about our situations.
We all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a world where everyone is dependent on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
for various reasons, irrespective of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, race, religion, gender and status of the individual. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in need around us in the society every day, where our response can definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a difference to an extent.
However
, as individuals it is not possible
Did you mean "to be able"?
to able
to offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
beyond one's capabilities,
even though
we are
highly
empathetic in nature as humans.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
contribution from each of us can bring in major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
over a period of time,
firstly
within the communities we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in and
slowly
transforming the nation on a larger scale. Henceforth, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
concerning our society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Lets
us have a look at few needs on a global level.
First
and foremost, Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is facing severe problems like Increase of population, lack of resources, poverty, health and environment. Though we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
blame the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
for these issues, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's duty to act
responsibly
, which might take us a step closer in achieving the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
goals.
For Instance
, We might not control the harmful environmental effects throughout the nation from our home,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we can definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our attitude in using fuels,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of plastic and create awareness among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
standing as an example for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it possible.
Thus
, it is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
and assistance, which
eventually
can lead to better solutions

Similarly
,
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
in regards to
the lack of resources, nations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
by imports and exports, which will be profiting all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
on the Whole
.
Likewise
, agriculture and medical innovations in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
by the citizens over there are
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitting
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
across the globe. Most of the gadgets we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and the technology we
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
is not limited to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, which
Possible spelling mistake. 'symbolises' is British English.
symbolises
the support of the foreign land. Henceforth, it
is proved
that unknowing everyone is seeking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from a
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
person, state or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
depending on the level of the problem.
Being Concerned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about our premises will limit ourselves, which might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the transformation.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in their communities and at the same time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about the massive problems
as well
when necessary, which
indirectly
offers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to the higher section of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhoods' is British English.
neighbourhoods
or state or the world.
Therefore
, I do not accept that we can't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
everyone in the world. We can
indirectly
assist
instead
of acting selfish by worrying about our situations.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The man expresses his opinion about the proposal in the newspaper Briefly summarize the proposal. Then state the man's opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
427 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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