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The man expresses his opinion about the letter-writer's proposal. Briefly summarize the proposal. Then state the man's opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v.1

The man expresses his opinion about the letter-writer's proposal. Briefly summarize the proposal. Then state the man's opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v. 1
Whether or not to allow the children to watch TV has become a controversial issue. While some individuals are of the opinion that it adversely affects our young generation, others believe that watching television is beneficial for them in the foreseeable future. This essay intends to delve into both sides of the argument in depth. I, however, think that a balanced approach should be adopted. To begin with, the advocates of the statement claim that if children are allowed to spend hours in front of the idiot box, then it will bring detrimental results for them in the later years of life. Since in the modern world, crime movies and violent scenes have become common in the media, and youngsters imitate whatever they see, and they do not realise that there is nothing real, which deviates them in the wrong direction. To cite an example, in my city Kaithal, a 13-year old boy killed his school principal just because she scolded him, and he said that he got an inspiration from a television show. Thus they are right in thinking that watching of TVs is negatively impacting the growth of the children On the other hand, the opponents opine that it will bring various benefits for young children in the near future despite its adverse impacts. This is probably due to the fact because these days tremendous educational channels are contributing a lot to the improvement of grades of students, which in turn, results in making them skilled persons having wide range of knowledge. For example, discovery and national geographic channels telecast interesting facts regarding the nature and wildlife, which is broadening their horizons, and such extensive knowledge helps in getting a well paid job at adulthood. To recapitulate, confrontation to television shows is advantageous in getting an excellent job in the later years of life. To conclude, undeniably, people are divided on the topic of watching excess TV. This essay discussed the contrary views of the society, but I think with a careful supervision of parents, we can reap out the benefits of this great invention of technology.
Whether or not
to
allow
the children to
watch
TV has become a controversial issue. While
some
individuals are of the opinion that it
adversely
affects our young generation, others believe that watching television is beneficial for them in the foreseeable future. This essay intends to delve into both sides of the argument in depth. I,
however
,
think
that a balanced approach should
be adopted
.

To
begin
with, the advocates of the statement claim that if children are
allowed
to spend hours in front of the idiot box, then it will bring detrimental results for them in the later years of life. Since in the modern world, crime movies and violent scenes have become common in the media, and youngsters imitate whatever they
see
, and they do not
realise
that there is nothing real, which deviates them in the
wrong
direction. To cite an example, in my city
Kaithal
, a 13-year
old
boy killed his school principal
just
because
she scolded him, and he said that he
got
an inspiration from a television
show
.
Thus
they are right in thinking that watching of TVs is
negatively
impacting the growth of the
children


On the other hand
, the opponents opine that it will bring various benefits for young children in the near future despite its adverse impacts. This is
probably
due to the fact
because
these days tremendous educational channels are contributing a lot to the improvement of grades of students, which in turn, results in making them skilled persons having wide range of knowledge.
For example
, discovery and national geographic channels telecast interesting facts regarding the nature and wildlife, which is broadening their horizons, and such extensive knowledge
helps
in getting a well paid job at adulthood. To recapitulate, confrontation to television
shows
is advantageous in getting an excellent job in the later years of life.

To conclude
,
undeniably
,
people
are divided
on the topic of watching excess TV. This essay discussed the contrary views of the society,
but
I
think
with a careful supervision of parents, we can reap out the benefits of this great invention of technology.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay The man expresses his opinion about the letter-writer's proposal. Briefly summarize the proposal. Then state the man's opinion and explain the reasons he gives for holding that opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
349 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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