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The man expresses his opinion about the changes in the physical education requirements for students. State his opinion, and explain the reasons he gives for that opinion. v.1

The man expresses his opinion about the changes in the physical education requirements for students. State his opinion, and explain the reasons he gives for that opinion. v. 1
There are different opinions about the role of history in our present life. While a lot of people insist that there would be nothing to gain from doing research on what happened in the past, I suppose history does teach us precious lessons. On the one hand, I understand why some people think it is pointless to learn from the past. First, history is the field that is rarely used in people’s lives, and therefore, they would rather pay attention to science or technology than focus on something that brings no relevant values to the present or future. Second, each historical event is interpreted differently based on different facts and perspectives, so there is no guarantee of the accuracy of information obtained. If, in many cases, historical documents were falsified, it would cause tremendous damage to people’s culture and religion. On the other hand, I would argue that studying from past events is essential for two principal reasons. History helps young people have thorough insights into their own culture and how their country has evolved. This is particularly true in case of Vietnam. The youth need to understand how their ancestors defended the nation against intruders throughout many dynasties and maintain a sovereign and free country, which would develop their patriotism and pride. Furthermore, history depicts the mistakes made in the past, hence helping people to avoid similar ones in the future. In conclusion, acquiring knowledge about historical events, although redundant according to some, seems to be of great value to me.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions about the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
in our present life. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
insist that there would be nothing to gain from doing research on what happened in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
, I suppose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
does teach us precious lessons.

On the one hand, I understand why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is pointless to learn from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
.
First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is the field
that is
rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, and
therefore
, they would
rather
pay attention to science or technology than focus on something that brings no relevant values to the present or future. Second, each historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
is interpreted
differently
based on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
facts and perspectives,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is no guarantee of the accuracy of information obtained. If, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, historical documents
were falsified
, it would cause tremendous damage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
culture and religion.

On the other hand
, I would argue that studying from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
is essential for two principal reasons.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have thorough insights into their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
culture and how their country has evolved. This is
particularly
true in case of Vietnam. The youth need to understand how their ancestors defended the nation against intruders throughout
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
dynasties and maintain a sovereign and free country, which would develop their patriotism and pride.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
depicts the mistakes made in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
,
hence
helping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to avoid similar ones in the future.

In conclusion
, acquiring knowledge about historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
, although redundant according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, seems to be of great value to me.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay The man expresses his opinion about the changes in the physical education requirements for students. State his opinion, and explain the reasons he gives for that opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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