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The majority of parents give prizes to their children when they get good grades. Some people believe that it is a good way to encourage them to keep up the good work. While others argue that this is not a good idea to give money all of the time, so that v.2

The majority of parents give prizes to their children when they get good grades. Some people believe that it is a good way to encourage them to keep up the good work. While others argue that this is not a good idea to give money all of the time, so that v. 2
The majority of parents give prizes to their children when they get good grades. Some people believe that it is a good way to encourage them to keep up the good work. While others argue that this is not a good idea to give money all of the time, so that they get good grades. Personally, I think that giving money all the time when children get high marks is not a good idea. One of the reasons that children should not receive money from their parents is because it will negatively impact their understanding of the purpose of learning and why they should perform well in school. For example, if a child knows that he will get money, he may think that this is the reason why he should get good grades. This wrong concept is going to be harmful later in their future. Even though they really deserve this gift because they worked hard to get it, it sends the wrong message to the child. That' s why, I think that receiving money all the time after getting a high score in school may be misinterpreted by the child in the wrong way. The second reason is that not all parents have enough money to do that for their kids. Money is not always the best solution that should be used to please children. For example, one of mine friends parents were too poor and didn' t have enough money to cover their expenses. My friend was very smart he always got good grades because he studied a lot. His parents were so proud of him. What he got as a prize was a hug, praise, a lot of love and encouragement to continue studying hard. Even though the money is appealing to everyone, it is not always the right solution to please children. Because of this, kids need more love and attention rather than money to keep up with good scores. Summing up, I believe that money is not the right solution for parents to give money to their children after they get high grades. Parents should give them more love and attention so that children can be happy and secure in themselves
The majority of
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parents
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give
prizes to their
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children
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
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good
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grades
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that it is a
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good
way to encourage them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
work. While others argue that this is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
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give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
Consider using "all the".
all of the
time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
all the time when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high marks is not a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

One of the reasons that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
negatively
impact their understanding of the purpose of learning and why they should perform well in school.
For example
, if a child knows that he will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, he may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this is the reason why he should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
. This
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
concept is going to be harmful later in their future.
Even though
they
really
deserve this gift
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they worked
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
it, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sends
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
message to the child.

Possible spelling mistake found.
That&
#039; s why, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that receiving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
all the time after getting a high score in school may
be misinterpreted
by the child in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way.

The second reason is that not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to do that for their kids.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
is not always the best solution that should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
, one of mine friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
were too poor and
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to cover their expenses. My friend was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
smart he always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he studied a lot. His
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
proud of him. What he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
as a prize was a hug, praise,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and encouragement to continue studying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.
Even though
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is appealing to everyone, it is not always the right solution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
please
children.

Because of this
, kids need more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and attention
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
scores.

Summing up, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not the right solution for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
after they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
them more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and attention
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can be happy and secure in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
themselves
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay The majority of parents give prizes to their children when they get good grades. Some people believe that it is a good way to encourage them to keep up the good work. While others argue that this is not a good idea to give money all of the time, so that v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
365 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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