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The majority of parents give prizes to their children when they get good grades. Some people believe that it is a good way to encourage them to keep up the good work. While others argue that this is not a good idea to give money all of the time, so that v.1

The majority of parents give prizes to their children when they get good grades. Some people believe that it is a good way to encourage them to keep up the good work. While others argue that this is not a good idea to give money all of the time, so that v. 1
Some people are of the opinion that there is no alternative to decrease global fuel demand, even though there has been a great rise in fuel prices during the last 10 to 20 years. This imposes a great risk to the world deposits of fossil fuels. In this essay, I will discuss why I disagree with this thesis. On one hand, prices are only a part of the variables involving the use of fuels. While there are many goods that could be manipulated in its price to rise or limit its consumption, fuel is not one of these. Hence, the importance of understanding that fuels have not yet found their competitors, nor their replacement. Take for example chocolate, if prices of chocolate were to increase by 50% its demand would be reduced dramatically. This is not the case with fuels, though it may cost a lot more to fill the tank, people will still need to get to work every day. On the other hand, fuel consumption is directly related to the lack of alternative sources of energy. Moreover, these technologies such as electric vehicles are still a rather small fraction of all vehicles in the world. If these technologies were to become mainstream by the power of campaigns and large investments in research, the world could stand a chance to reduce the pressure put on the fossil deposits. For instance, the governments can initiate campaigns to promote the use of electric vehicles by applying tax incentives for the purchase of such cars. In conclusion, fuel prices are in most cases inelastic. Therefore, it would take a lot of different efforts to replace the need of fuel consumption, thus having little to no impact on reducing pressure on the world's fossil deposits depletion. In addition to this, newer technologies will take several decades to be fully developed in order to replace the fuel demanding industries.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the opinion that there is no alternative to decrease global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
demand,
even though
there has been a great rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
during the last 10 to 20 years. This imposes a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to the world deposits of fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
. In this essay, I will discuss why I disagree with this thesis.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a part of the variables involving the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
that could
be manipulated
in its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
to rise or limit its consumption,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
is not one of these.
Hence
, the importance of understanding that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
have not
yet
found their competitors, nor their replacement. Take
for example
chocolate, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of chocolate were to increase by 50% its demand would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
dramatically
. This is not the case with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
, though it may cost a lot more to fill the tank,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will
still
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to work every day.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
consumption is
directly
related to the lack of alternative sources of energy.
Moreover
, these technologies such as electric vehicles are
still
a
rather
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
fraction of all vehicles in the world. If these technologies were to become mainstream by the power of campaigns and large investments in research, the world could stand a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the pressure put on the fossil deposits.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can initiate campaigns to promote the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electric vehicles by applying tax incentives for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
of such cars.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
are
in most cases
inelastic.
Therefore
, it would take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
efforts to replace the need of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
consumption,
thus
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
to no impact on reducing pressure on the world's fossil deposits depletion.
In addition
to this, newer technologies will take several decades to be
fully
developed in order to replace the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
demanding industries.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay The majority of parents give prizes to their children when they get good grades. Some people believe that it is a good way to encourage them to keep up the good work. While others argue that this is not a good idea to give money all of the time, so that v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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