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The main purpose of a public library is to provide books, and they shouldn’t waste the limited resources and space on providing expensive hi-tech media such as computer software, video, and DVDs. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statemen v.1

The main purpose of a public library is to provide books, and they shouldn’t waste the limited resources and space on providing expensive hi-tech media such as computer software, video, and DVDs. with this statemen v. 1
Libraries are great resources for people to seek knowledge and information. Thanks to the improvement of technology that public libraries are applying hi-tech media in order to serve customers. However, some people disagree with the use of computers and videos due to expensive costs. In my opinion, I strongly believe that the use of technology in libraries should continue because of numerous benefits. It may be true to some extent that a great amount of money should be allocated to equip libraries with hi-tech media. However, the advantages that it brings along with are significantly undeniable. Firstly, computers, hardware and software are great storages of books and information. Only with a small disc can librarians store thousands of books, articles, magazines and the like. Moreover, the resources also last long, even a hundred years just by copying or duplicating. On the contrary, books can just be kept for a short period and they consume lots of places as well. Secondly, by using technology in managing that librarians can easily access the system. It is extremely useful since it can also link with other public library systems worldwide. In terms of library-goers, applying hi-tech media in libraries can help people feel more interesting; therefore, their appetite for reading books will generally increase. DVDs and videos provide a lively atmosphere with sound and images. Additionally, it also assists in the process of knowledge acquisition. In addition, software for studying foreign languages attract a great number of citizens, especially children. Not only by reading books but also by interacting with games, songs and videos can children reinforce their lessons acquired from schools. From all the above-mentioned, libraries should increase the use of hi-tech appliances in both managing and serving public people. Authorities should allocate a suitable amount of money on updating and renovating old-fashioned public libraries.
Libraries are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
resources for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to seek knowledge and information. Thanks to the improvement of technology that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries are applying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hi-tech
media in order to serve customers.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computers and videos due to expensive costs. In my opinion, I
strongly
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology in libraries should continue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of numerous benefits.

It may be true to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
amount of money should
be allocated
to equip libraries with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hi-tech
media.
However
, the advantages that it brings along with are
significantly
undeniable.
Firstly
, computers, hardware and software are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
Possible spelling mistake found.
storages
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and information.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
with a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
disc can librarians store thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
, articles, magazines and the like.
Moreover
, the resources
also
last long, even a hundred years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by copying or duplicating.
On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
for a short
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
period and
they consume lots of places
as well
.
Secondly
, by using technology in managing that librarians can
easily
access the system. It is
extremely
useful since it can
also
link with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
library systems worldwide.

In terms of library-goers, applying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hi-tech
media in libraries can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel more interesting;
therefore
, their appetite for reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
will
generally
increase. DVDs and videos provide a lively atmosphere with sound and images.
Additionally
, it
also
assists in the process of knowledge acquisition.
In addition
, software for studying foreign languages attract a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
great
number of citizens,
especially
children. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
by interacting with games, songs and videos can children reinforce their lessons acquired from schools.

From all the above-mentioned, libraries should increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hi-tech
appliances in both managing and serving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Authorities should allocate a suitable amount of money on updating and renovating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
-fashioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
libraries.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The main purpose of a public library is to provide books, and they shouldn’t waste the limited resources and space on providing expensive hi-tech media such as computer software, video, and DVDs. with this statemen v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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