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Some people believe that govenrment should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinio v.1

Some people believe that govenrment should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. 1
In the modern world, advertising plays a unique role in marketing strategies and became a major element in today’s world. While advertisements have demerits such as targeting naive customers, it has its merits as a business industry. Both advantages and disadvantages will be further discussed. One drawback to commercial ads is that it can be directed to target certain groups such as children or illiterate people, who can be misled by false marketing campaigns. Al-Ahram Weekly recently reported that the Egyptian authorities ended the business of 10 agencies that were specialized in marketing unapproved medications, and 95% of the customers were uneducated citizens residing in poor districts. Another negative outcome is that some families may face stress because they are forced to answer the high demands of their dependents. While parents try to control their children consuming activities, some acquiesce to these demands, which can cause financial difficulties to some of them. Thus, it can be said that advertisements have some clear negatives. On the other hand, advertising as an industry is an essential player in the modern world. The amount of money spent on campaigns in 2017 exceeded 500 billion dollars worldwide, according to a report published in The Daily Telegraph. Moreover, advertisers provide a huge number of employment opportunities to different job categories such as directors, creators, business management, and workers. If there are factors that led to reducing the volume of the industry, a vast number of beneficiaries will be affected. Another benefit of advertisements is that it allows consumers to be introduced to new products and opportunities. Despite the useless posters and place-cards, people may find themselves consuming more cheaper products or buying their perfect home. Hence, it is understandable why advertising became a constant business element nowadays. In conclusion, having shown both positives and negatives of advertisements, it can be concluded that despite the drawback of targeting certain groups or ages, which are detrimental in some cases, the benefits of advertising as an industry is undeniable.
In the modern world, advertising plays a unique role in marketing strategies and became a major element in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have demerits such as targeting naive customers, it has its merits as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
. Both advantages and disadvantages will be
further
discussed.

One drawback to commercial ads is that it can
be directed
to target certain groups such as children or illiterate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who can
be misled
by false marketing campaigns.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Al-Ahram
Weekly recently reported that the Egyptian authorities ended the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
of 10 agencies that
were specialized
in marketing unapproved medications, and 95% of the customers
were uneducated
citizens residing in poor districts. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcome is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
families may face
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are forced
to answer the high demands of their dependents. While parents try to control their children consuming activities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
acquiesce to these demands, which can cause financial difficulties to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them.
Thus
, it can
be said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
negatives.

On the other hand
, advertising as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
is an essential player in the modern world. The amount of money spent on campaigns in 2017 exceeded 500 billion dollars worldwide, according to a report published in The Daily Telegraph.
Moreover
, advertisers provide a huge number of employment opportunities to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
job categories such as directors, creators,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
management, and workers. If there are factors that led to reducing the volume of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
, a vast number of beneficiaries will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
. Another benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
consumers to
be introduced
to new products and opportunities. Despite the useless posters and place-cards,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may find themselves consuming
Use only "cheaper" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more cheaper
products or buying their perfect home.
Hence
, it is understandable why advertising became a constant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
element nowadays.

In conclusion
, having shown both positives and negatives of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, it can
be concluded
that despite the drawback of targeting certain groups or ages, which are detrimental in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, the benefits of advertising as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
is undeniable.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that govenrment should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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