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The line graph shows the population size, birth rate and death rate of england and wales from 1700 to 2000. v.1

The line graph shows the population size, birth rate and death rate of england and wales from 1700 to 2000. v. 1
Some people often think that the availability of the technological advancements nowadays are raising the gap between the wealthy and the poor, while others believe it has an opposing effect. In the following essay, I will discuss about both views. On the one hand, with the introduction of newer and better versions of current technologies, the older models would become cheaper. For example, Almost everyone owns an iron, washing machine or a mobile phone even if they are not the latest models with the best options. Also, due to the internet being accessible everywhere, online shopping facilities, e-learning opportunities and social networking sites have no discrimination and are accessible by both the affluent and the poor and therefore decreases the gap between the wealthy and the poor. On the other hand, certain cutting edge innovations may not be available to everyone due to their costs. For instance, certain medical diagnostic scans like MRI and certain anticancer drugs, as well as organ transplants are very costly and inaccessible to the poor, whereas the wealthy people just have to spend a portion of their income to access these treatments and become healthy. Poor people, nevertheless, have to spend all of their expenses on conventional treatments and yet there is no guarantee that their condition will improve. To conclude, most of the current innovations decrease the gap between the affluent and the poor, while certain developments make society more polarized. In my opinion, in the near future, most of the technologies would continue to be affordable by everyone regardless of their economic status.
Some
people
often
think
that the availability of the technological advancements nowadays are raising the gap between the wealthy and the
poor
, while others believe it has an opposing effect. In the following essay, I will
discuss about both
views.

On the one hand, with the introduction of newer and better versions of
current
technologies, the older models would become cheaper.
For example
, Almost everyone
owns
an iron, washing machine or a mobile phone even if they are not the latest models with the best options.
Also
, due to the internet being accessible everywhere, online shopping facilities, e-learning opportunities and social networking sites have no discrimination and are accessible by both the affluent and the
poor
and
therefore
decreases the gap between the wealthy and the poor.

On the other hand
,
certain
cutting edge innovations may not be available to everyone due to their costs.
For instance
,
certain
medical diagnostic scans like MRI and
certain
anticancer drugs,
as well
as organ transplants are
very
costly and inaccessible to the
poor
, whereas the wealthy
people
just
have to
spend a portion of their income to access these treatments and become healthy.
Poor
people
,
nevertheless
,
have to
spend all of their expenses on conventional treatments and
yet
there is no guarantee that their condition will
improve
.

To conclude
, most of the
current
innovations decrease the gap between the affluent and the
poor
, while
certain
developments
make
society more polarized. In my opinion, in the near future, most of the technologies would continue to be affordable by everyone regardless of their economic status.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The line graph shows the population size, birth rate and death rate of england and wales from 1700 to 2000. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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