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The line graph below show the population size, birth and death rate of ENgland and Whales from 1700 to 2000. v.1

The line graph below show the population size, birth and death rate of ENgland and Whales from 1700 to 2000. v. 1
Nowadays, many countries search for new ways to make revenue and tourism consider a good source of counties revenue. While some people think that there are many disadvantages of tourism and countries could not ignore them, others believe the disadvantages not important and countries should ignore them. I totally agree with this as there are many disadvantages of tourism effect the countries. This essay will discuss the negative sides of tourism followed by a conclusion. To start with, there are several negative impacts of tourism. Firstly, tourism increase the risk of lose the traditional values of the countries. Due to this, mixing many people from different background may cause mixing the traditional values and lose it in a long period. Secondly, tourism could negatively effect the traditional language of countries. Because people of host countries may start using different language to deal with tourists and that may lead to lose the traditional language of that countries. For example, many countries that have many tourists their citizen start to lose their traditional language due to the use of different languages to be able to talk with tourists. In addition, tourism may increase the pressure on countries services and infrastructure. This is because the tourist will cause more pressure of the transportation system and medical services. As a result, host countries will pay more money to support these services to be able to provides the local and foreign people with needed services. For instance, a lot of countries who have a large number of tourism suffer from the increasing the pressure on their infrastructure and services. In conclusion, there are many disadvantages of tourism that should be in consideration such as the risk of losing the traditional values and language of host countries. Also increase the pressure on services and countries infr
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
search for new ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
revenue and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
consider a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source of counties revenue. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
them, others believe the disadvantages not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
them. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this as there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
effect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. This essay will discuss the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
followed by a conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, there are several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lose
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
values of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Due to this, mixing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
background may cause mixing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
values and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lose
it in a long period.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
could
negatively
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
to deal with tourists and that may lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lose
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
that have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourists their citizen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lose
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
to be able to talk with tourists.

In addition
,
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tourism
may increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and infrastructure. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the tourist will cause more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
of the transportation system and medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
As a result
, host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will pay more money to support these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
to be able to provides the local and foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with needed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who have
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
suffer from the increasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
on their infrastructure and services.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
that should be in consideration such as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of losing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
values and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
of host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Also
increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pressure
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
infr
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The line graph below show the population size, birth and death rate of ENgland and Whales from 1700 to 2000. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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