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The line graph shows the number of first time visitors and returning visitors who visited Caryl Island from 2000 to 2008. v.1

The line graph shows the number of first time visitors and returning visitors who visited Caryl Island from 2000 to 2008. v. 1
Naturally, we as humans, cannot live without our precious friends. Friendship is mostly a lifelong relation between people. It considered to be not only an exceptional relationship between individuals, but also it sometimes seems sophisticated. While many may have great soulmates with kind features, they nearly lose them due to dishonesty or even being moved to remote areas. The personal characteristics always shape our relations with others. A noble friend should be honest and respectful. If one needs some kind of support in a particular circumstance, he directly thinks of his close friend for guidance and advice. Additionally, true friends often share special moments, either happy or hard times, with their companions. Such distinctive relationship does not appear suddenly, instead, it usually takes years to be framed properly. It can be said that friends are almost our second family like parents and siblings. However, there are some cases, may be not frequently occurred, that such connection could be broken. When someone behaves in an unethical manner or does not tell the truth in serious situations, he can be considered as a dishonest person from his friend's view, which in turn may weaken such connection between them. Furthermore, other reasons like relocation to remote areas or immigration to another country could play a role in reducing periodic communication among friends. In conclusion, friends are our life partners who we cannot live normally without being surrounded by them. Real friends are fortune for us so that we should keep this relation healthy over time.
Naturally
, we as humans, cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without our precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. Friendship is
mostly
a lifelong relation between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. It considered to be not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
an exceptional relationship between individuals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
seems sophisticated. While
Possible agreement error. The noun may seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much may", "a good deal of may".
many may
have great soulmates with kind features, they
nearly
lose them due to dishonesty or even being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to remote areas.

The personal characteristics always shape our relations with others. A noble
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
should be honest and respectful. If one needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of support in a particular circumstance, he
directly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
of his close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
for guidance and advice.
Additionally
, true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
share special moments, either happy or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
times, with their companions. Such distinctive relationship does not appear
suddenly
,
instead
, it
usually
takes years to
be framed
properly
. It can
be said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are almost our second family like parents and siblings.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, may be not
frequently
occurred, that such connection could
be broken
. When someone behaves
Consider replacing "in an unethical manner" with the adverb for "unethical"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an unethical manner
or does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
the truth in serious situations, he can
be considered
as a dishonest person from his friend's view, which in turn may weaken such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
them.
Furthermore
, other reasons like relocation to remote areas or immigration to another country could play a role in reducing periodic communication among friends.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are our life partners who we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
normally
without
being surrounded
by them. Real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are fortune for us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
this relation healthy over time.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The line graph shows the number of first time visitors and returning visitors who visited Caryl Island from 2000 to 2008. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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