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the line graph indicates the values of Australia's trade with China, Japan, and the US from 2002 to 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main futures, and make comparisons where relevant v.1

the line graph indicates the values of Australia's trade with China, Japan, and the US from 2002 to 2008.
In recent years, the number of people travelling to different countries has increased manifold. According to one school of thought, tourists should respect the customs of the visiting country and behave accordingly while others are of the opinion that the host nation should accept cultural diversity. In this essay, I would like to discuss both the views with examples and give my own opinion. Every nation has its own customs and traditions that make them unique in the world. These customs and traditions are their identity. It is always good to embrace the local practices while visiting a new place so that one can feel welcome and enjoy their time to the fullest. It also helps the tourists to learn new things which can make them understand the world little better. For instance, In India, covering the head and taking off the shoes while entering any Hindu or Sikh temple is a very common practice. If the travellers follow this custom, then they will be treated as a part of their community, but if the rules are not followed, then they can hurt the sentiments and emotions of the local people. On the contrary, when tourists visit a foreign land, they bring along their own rich culture. This helps in adding divergence to the existing culture and traditions of the country. For example, a few decades back, Parsis and Jews came to India as visitors. They brought their own culture here and the people of India embraced it with open hearts and this is how India has become a land of cultural variance. India is one of the countries in the world where so much cultural diversity can be seen and people are enjoying it. Eventually, it can be recapitulated that although the visitors should try to follow the customs that can otherwise hurt the feelings or emotions of the local people and learn new things, but on the other hand, the host country should accept the new customs and traditions with open arms to enrich their cultural diversification and become a nation that respects each and every culture in the world. I personally believe that both the tourists and the host country should be able to accept both the existing and new culture wholeheartedly.
In recent years, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travelling to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
has increased manifold. According to one school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
should respect the customs of the visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and behave
accordingly
while others are of the opinion that the host nation should accept
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
diversity. In this essay, I would like to discuss both the views with examples and give my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

Every nation has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
customs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them unique in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. These customs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
are their identity. It is always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to embrace the local practices while visiting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that one can feel welcome and enjoy their time to the fullest. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
to learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
better.
For instance
, In India, covering the head and taking off the shoes while entering any Hindu or Sikh temple is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common practice. If the
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
follow this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
custom
, then they will
be treated
as a part of their community,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
are not followed, then they can hurt the sentiments and emotions of the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the contrary
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
visit a foreign land, they bring along their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in adding divergence to the existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, a few decades back,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Parsis
and Jews came to India as visitors. They brought their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
here and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of India embraced it with open hearts and this is how India has become a land of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
variance. India is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
diversity can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are enjoying it.

Eventually
, it can
be recapitulated
that although the visitors should try to follow the customs that can
otherwise
hurt the feelings or emotions of the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other hand
, the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should accept the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
customs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditions
with open arms to enrich their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
diversification and become a nation that respects each and every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. I
personally
believe that both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
and the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
should be able to accept both the existing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
wholeheartedly
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay the line graph indicates the values of Australia's trade with China, Japan, and the US from 2002 to 2008.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
375 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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