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The chart below gives information about the level oof education of Bulgarian people who wanted to go and live in another country in 2002, 2006 and 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparisons where re v.2

The chart below gives information about the level oof education of Bulgarian people who wanted to go and live in another country in 2002, 2006 and 2008.
Recently, a considerable part of people are rarely gathering with family, which can be seen through their more time for earning more income. In this essay, the relevant causes will be investigated as well as rational measures for this problem. There are several reasons of the difficulties for the family to have a precious time together. First and foremost, the difference in having leisure time among the member in a family makes them feel tough to arrange a meeting with their relatives. Due to the limit space of holiday, they usually prefer to enjoy with their friends or having me-time, for instance, thereby the family moment could only happen for once in a month. Furthermore, the sophisticated of technology such as gadget which lead them to communicate with those things instead of depleting a quality moment with their relatives. As long as they have a communication between each other, they think that it is quite enough to contact. To overcome this issue, basically, setting up the mind about family as a priority is pivotal to go along with family. If they consider that family as the most important for them, they will manage a specific occasion for the family. As a result, they are close as they should be, sharing food, having tea, make a picnic and many others. Afterwards, they will possibly put in an effort to consistently deplete the time with family more than with others. Thus, the family as the most precious in their life. By way of conclusion, although, every individual has a demanding schedule of working, the family must be a priority in life. As I would state that each member of a family have to comfort each other until they prefer to arrange quality time with the family.
Recently, a considerable part of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are rarely gathering with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
through their more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for earning more income. In this essay, the relevant causes will
be investigated
as well
as rational measures for this problem.

There are several reasons of the difficulties for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
to have a precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together.
First
and foremost, the difference in having leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
among the member in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them feel tough to arrange a meeting with their relatives. Due to the limit space of holiday, they
usually
prefer to enjoy with their friends or having me-time,
for instance
, thereby the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
moment could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
happen for once in a month.
Furthermore
,
The phrase 'the sophisticated of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the sophisticated of
technology such as gadget which lead them to communicate with those things
instead
of depleting a quality moment with their relatives. As long as they have a communication between each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to contact.

To overcome this issue,
basically
, setting up the mind about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as a priority is pivotal to go along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. If they consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for them, they will manage a specific occasion for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
As a result
, they are close as they should be, sharing food, having tea,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a picnic and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others. Afterwards, they will
possibly
put in an effort to
consistently
deplete the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
more than with others.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
as the most precious in their life.

By way of conclusion, although, every individual has a demanding schedule of working, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a priority in life. As I would state that each member of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
comfort each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
until they prefer to arrange quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The chart below gives information about the level oof education of Bulgarian people who wanted to go and live in another country in 2002, 2006 and 2008.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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