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The internet is a great course of information and has opened up opportunities for people to learn all over the world. Is all information is reliable on internet? What could be done to control information online? v.1

The internet is a great course of information and has opened up opportunities for people to learn all over the world. Is all information is reliable on internet? What could be done to control information online? v. 1
It is true that internet has an important role for people in gaining knowledge and acquainting with information throughout the world. While internet can sometimes be unreliable, I believe that individuals can take certain measures to deal with these problems. The first reason internet might be unreliable is that it has the access to the personal data. While creating accounts on computers or mobile phones, people should give all the information about themselves, which would be saved in the archives. Hackers can access to systems to steal the data from bank accounts and credit cards. For example, in 2018, the amount of money that was lost by organisations from online crimes accounted for almost 2. 8 billion dollars. The fact that people can be tricked by opening email attachments is the second reason for the unreliability of the internet. Some of the cyber criminals spread computer viruses that can be installed without a user's knowledge, coming in the form of an email attachment. To illustrate, a virus named Zeus was developed by American cyber criminals to infect a computer system. In terms of measures that can be taken to tackle these problems, I think that two most effective ways are to change passwords of accounts regularly and to install antivirus programmes. With regards to the former, if individuals change the passwords of their own accounts, they will insure the safety of their personal information because it would be difficult for hackers to access the system. Moving on to the latter, there are some computer programmes that can protect the whole system by stopping the spread of the viruses. As an example, Microsoft company introduced the software ‘Microsoft Scanner’ that prevents systems from cyber attacks. In conclusion, internet has become an indispensable source of education for people all over the world. However, it causes some problems due to its unreliability, which can be tackled by changing the passwords of private data and by using antivirus programmes.
It is true that internet has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in gaining knowledge and acquainting with information throughout the world. While internet can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
be unreliable, I believe that individuals can take certain measures to deal with these problems.

The
first
reason internet might be unreliable is that it has the access to the personal data. While creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accounts
on computers or mobile phones,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should give all the information about themselves, which would
be saved
in the archives. Hackers can access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
to steal the data from bank
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accounts
and credit cards.
For example
, in 2018, the amount of money that
was lost
by
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
from online crimes accounted for almost 2. 8 billion dollars. The fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be tricked
by opening email attachments is the second reason for the unreliability of the internet.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
cyber criminals spread computer viruses that can
be installed
without a user's knowledge, coming in the form of an email attachment. To illustrate, a virus named Zeus
was developed
by American cyber criminals to infect a computer system.

In terms of measures that can
be taken
to tackle these problems, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that two most effective ways are to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
passwords of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accounts
regularly
and to install antivirus
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
.
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
the former, if individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the passwords of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accounts
, they will insure the safety of their personal information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it would be difficult for hackers to access the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
. Moving on to the latter, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
computer
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
that can protect the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
by stopping the spread of the viruses. As an example, Microsoft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
introduced the software ‘Microsoft Scanner’ that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
systems
from
This word is normally spelled as one.
cyber attacks
.

In conclusion
, internet has become an indispensable source of education for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the world.
However
, it causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems due to its unreliability, which can
be tackled
by changing the passwords of private data and by using antivirus
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The internet is a great course of information and has opened up opportunities for people to learn all over the world. Is all information is reliable on internet? What could be done to control information online? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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