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The internet has transformed the way we communicate, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest? v.1

The internet has transformed the way we communicate, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest? v. 1
The internet is an ingenious tool that is used by citizens across the world. In spite of modifying the mode of communication, it has also caused several complications, which will be discussed in this essay along with the suggestions to prevent them. There are two major issues related to the networking. Firstly, children can access any kind of information online, which could involve disturbing content, that influence a negative mindset in them. For instance, the teenagers are able to watch pornographic sites without any restrictions on the web. Secondly, the online fraud and hacking has increased over the decades. It is easy to steal important information through corrupted files when the user downloads unknowingly. A hacker can capture credit card data while transacting an amount, could be considered as an illustration to represent deception. If people are not careful enough, then they could become a victim of the cybercrime. However, few procedures can be followed to overcome these drawbacks. The government should restrict harmful content that is available online. There needs to be an authorization to set the age limit of the users. Moreover, parents should monitor the actions their children perform online. Besides that, the IT companies should support to minimize phishing of the data. They could build a firewall in order to make secure transactions that restricts the data being exposed to third-parties. This could be helpful to reduce the cyber crime. Furthermore, people should be educated about utilizing the world wide web in a positive way and be aware about the negative effects. In conclusion, although there are problems like children accessing harmful content and hacking, involved with the web, certain measures like authorization to limit the age and developing a secure firewall could be conducive in overcoming those issues.
The internet is an ingenious tool
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by citizens across the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
modifying the mode of communication, it has
also
caused several complications, which will
be discussed
in this essay along with the suggestions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them.

There are two major issues related to the networking.
Firstly
, children can access any kind of information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, which could involve disturbing content, that influence a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
mindset in them.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
pornographic sites without any restrictions on the web.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
fraud and hacking has increased over the decades. It is easy to steal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
information through corrupted files when the user downloads
unknowingly
. A hacker can capture credit card data while transacting an amount, could
be considered
as an illustration to represent deception. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not careful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, then they could become a victim of the cybercrime.

However
, few procedures can
be followed
to overcome these drawbacks. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should restrict harmful content
that is
available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. There needs to be an authorization to set the age limit of the users.
Moreover
, parents should monitor the actions their children perform
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
Besides
that, the IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should support to minimize phishing of the data. They could build a firewall in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
secure transactions that restricts the data
being exposed
to third-parties. This could be helpful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the cyber crime.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
be educated
about utilizing the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world wide web
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
way and be aware about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects.

In conclusion
, although there are problems like children accessing harmful content and hacking, involved with the web, certain measures like authorization to limit the age and developing a secure firewall could be conducive in overcoming those issues.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The internet has transformed the way we communicate, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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