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The internet has greatly increased our access to information. To what extent do you think this is a good thing? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.2

The internet has greatly increased our access to information. v. 2
These days, the internet is being greatly used to provide us with information about education and global news. In this essay, I am going to explain why this has been beneficial to us. Firstly, the internet has provided us with educational programs which helped people who do not have time to commute to universities or colleges to access programs such as online courses. For example, healthcare professionals who work fulltime and want to specialize in a specific field of healthcare can study courses at their own pace during their free time at home. As a result, this has helped individuals to increase their knowledge and advance their careers. Secondly, it has lead us to know what is happening around the world through global news and people get this information through social media, online forums and news websites to learn about economical, social and political news. For example, a recent study showed there was a decline in the number of people who read newspapers and a huge increase in the number of subscribers to online news websites. Furthermore, more people are buying electronics such as mobile phones and laptops that have the ability to access the news via the internet. As a result, this leads to keeping people up to date with issues affecting the world. In conclusion, the increased use of internet has provided us with more educational programs and updated us with worldly news which is important. In my view, I think that this is a good thing.
These days, the internet is being
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to provide us with information about education and global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. In this essay, I am going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why this has been beneficial to us.

Firstly
, the internet has provided us with educational programs which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not have time to commute to universities or colleges to access programs such as online courses.
For example
, healthcare professionals who work
Possible spelling mistake found.
fulltime
and want to specialize in a specific field of healthcare can study courses at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
pace during their free time at home.
As a result
, this has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
individuals to increase their knowledge and advance their careers.

Secondly
, it has
Possible agreement error – use past participle here: "leaded", "led".
lead
us to know what is happening around the world through global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
this information through social media, online forums and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
websites to learn about economical, social and political
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
For example
, a recent study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
there was a decline in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who read newspapers and a huge increase in the number of subscribers to online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
websites.
Furthermore
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are buying electronics such as mobile phones and laptops that have the ability to access the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
via the internet.
As a result
, this leads to keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
up to date with issues affecting the world.

In conclusion
, the increased
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of internet has provided us with more educational programs and updated us with worldly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. In my view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay The internet has greatly increased our access to information. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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