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The Internet has caused people to be isolated from their real lives Do you agree or disagree v.1

The Internet has caused people to be isolated from their real lives v. 1
It is generally believed by many people that the Internet is one of the major factors leading to the isolation of people from their society. However, I completely disagree with this idea. First, in terms of communication, the Internet helps people to keep in touch with their loved ones more easily. For instance, at the moment, numerous social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter or Yahoo offer much faster and more convenient for users to contact their family members, their friends or their colleagues no matter where they are. They can make video calls or send messages in few seconds thanks to using these websites, but this only occurs when they use the Internet. In general, the Internet can be seen as one of the most powerful facilitators in human communication nowadays. Second, by using the Internet, people can expand their horizon related to any field they love since most great variety of information is available on it from knowledge about the society to the latest discovery about planets outside the solar system. As a result, it provides them with a closer look at issues they want to explore, in other words, the Internet empowered people to acquire more knowledge about all aspects of life than ever before which help them become more aware of the problems lying in both society and out of society. In conclusion, due to ease communication and the free acquisition of the knowledge, I strongly believe that Internet users become isolated from their real lives unfounded.
It is
generally
believed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that the Internet is one of the major factors leading to the isolation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from their society.
However
, I completely disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

First
, in terms of communication, the Internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones more
easily
.
For instance
, at the moment, numerous social networking sites such as Facebook, Twitter or Yahoo offer much faster and more convenient for users to contact their family members, their friends or their colleagues no matter where they are. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
video calls or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
messages in few seconds thanks to using these websites,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
occurs when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the Internet.
In general
, the Internet can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as one of the most powerful facilitators in human communication nowadays.

Second, by using the Internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can expand their horizon related to any field they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
since most great variety of information is available on it from knowledge about the society to the latest discovery about planets outside the solar system.
As a result
, it provides them with a closer look at issues they want to explore,
in other words
, the Internet empowered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to acquire more knowledge about all aspects of life than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them become more aware of the problems lying in both society and out of society.

In conclusion
, due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
communication and the free acquisition of the knowledge, I
strongly
believe that Internet users become isolated from their real
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
unfounded.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay The Internet has caused people to be isolated from their real lives v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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