Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The Internet has caused people to be isolated from their real lives. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

The Internet has caused people to be isolated from their real lives. v. 2
It is generally believed by many people that the Internet is the root of people’s seclusion from their society. From my perspective, this idea is completely flawed owing to the benefits in terms of communication and knowledge acquisition that the Internet offers. Firstly, I would argue that the Internet is one of the most powerful facilitators in communication. At the moment, numerous websites such as Facebook or Yahoo offer much faster and more convenient services for users to keep in touch with their friends and relatives regardless of geographic distance. These websites create an online network which connects everyone within their users’ social circle and enables them to send instant messages or to make video calls in a few seconds no matter where they are. People, therefore, can enjoy both the convenience and the swiftness that those services provide. Secondly, I believe the Internet has empowered people to acquire more knowledge about their society than ever before. As a matter of fact, it is able to bring every aspect of life to people, which I think is valuable because people will have a closer look at how their society really is. Latest news about sports, education or criminals for example is updated constantly in many online sources that are open to everyone. This easy accessibility equips people with sufficient information, in other words, they are more aware of the problems lying within their society. In conclusion, as the two analyzed reasons above, I strongly disagree with the idea that Internet users are drifting away from their lives because of the online service.
It is
generally
believed by
many
people
that the Internet is the root of
people’s
seclusion from their society. From my perspective, this
idea
is completely flawed owing to the benefits in terms of communication and knowledge acquisition that the Internet offers.

Firstly
, I would argue that the Internet is one of the most powerful facilitators in communication. At the moment, numerous websites such as Facebook or Yahoo offer much faster and more convenient services for users to
keep
in touch with their friends and relatives regardless of geographic distance. These websites create an online network which connects everyone within their users’ social circle and enables them to
send
instant messages or to
make
video calls in a few seconds no matter where they are.
People
,
therefore
, can enjoy both the convenience and the swiftness that those services provide.

Secondly
, I believe the Internet has empowered
people
to acquire more knowledge about their society than ever
before
. As a matter of fact, it is able to bring every aspect of life to
people
, which I
think
is valuable
because
people
will have a closer look at how their society
really
is.
Latest
news about sports, education or criminals
for example
is updated
constantly
in
many
online sources that are open to everyone. This easy accessibility equips
people
with sufficient information,
in other words
, they are more aware of the problems lying within their society.

In conclusion
, as the two analyzed reasons above, I
strongly
disagree with the
idea
that Internet users are drifting away from their
lives
because
of the online service.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The Internet has caused people to be isolated from their real lives. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts