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The internet has brought about many changes into our day to day life. Nowadays we are doing things such as mailing, contacting, banking and communication much faster. Do these developments have more advantages than disadvantages? v.1

The internet has brought about many changes into our day to day life. Nowadays we are doing things such as mailing, contacting, banking and communication much faster. Do these developments have more advantages than disadvantages? v. 1
The internet has transformed people’s lives. It has changed the way we communicate with each other, transact business and access information. Although the internet has both positive and negative aspects, I believe that its merits outweigh its demerits. To begin with, thanks to the internet, people can now contact their friends, family and colleagues faster and more efficiently than in the past. Most people have internet connection on their mobile or computer and as a result, they can always stay connected with their near and dear ones. For example, social networking applications like WhatsApp, Facebook and Twitter allow people to chat and share videos and other important information. Similarly, through facilities like video conferencing and webinars people from different parts of the world can now participate in online conferences which eliminate the need to travel to other countries and cities for attending such programmes. Additionally, online shopping and banking have saved people a great deal of time and effort. People today can sit at home and buy their grocery, books or household appliances from online sites such as Amazon or eBay and their stuff will be delivered at home. Moreover, transferring and withdrawing money have become very easy today with online facilities offered by most banks. On the other hand, a great deal of offensive and obscene content is available on the web and children have easy access to them. Many antisocial elements and terrorist groups like ISIS recruit youngsters through the internet. Internet addiction is another problem. Many people are now addicted to the internet and wasting their time. This can affect their career and relationships. In conclusion, the internet has greatly benefited people in different ways. Although it has some negative aspects it can be handled efficiently by implementing proper laws and regulations and through parental supervision.
The internet has transformed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way we communicate with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
, transact business and access information. Although the internet has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects, I believe that its merits outweigh its demerits.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, thanks to the internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
contact their friends, family and colleagues faster and more
efficiently
than in the past. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have internet connection on their mobile or computer and
as a result
, they can always stay connected with their near and dear ones.
For example
, social networking applications like WhatsApp, Facebook and Twitter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to chat and share videos and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
information.
Similarly
, through facilities like video conferencing and webinars
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
conferences which eliminate the need to travel to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries and cities for attending such
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
.

Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping and banking have saved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a great deal of time and effort.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
can sit at home and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their grocery, books or household appliances from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
sites such as Amazon or eBay and their stuff will
be delivered
at home.
Moreover
, transferring and withdrawing money have become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
facilities offered by most banks.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, a great deal of offensive and obscene content is available on the web and children have easy access to them.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
antisocial elements and terrorist groups like ISIS recruit youngsters through the internet. Internet addiction is another problem.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
addicted to the internet and wasting their time. This can affect their career and relationships.

In conclusion
, the internet has
greatly
benefited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways. Although it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects it can
be handled
efficiently
by implementing proper laws and regulations and through parental supervision.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay The internet has brought about many changes into our day to day life. Nowadays we are doing things such as mailing, contacting, banking and communication much faster. Do these developments have more advantages than disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
299 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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