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The international community should take action immediately to ensure that all countries reduce the consumption of fossil fuels, such as gas and oil. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

The international community should take action immediately to ensure that all countries reduce the consumption of fossil fuels, such as gas and oil. v. 2
The increasing climate change and the inefficient use of our resources is leading to a disastrous life. I completely agree, that the international communities should understand the need to take strict action to ensure all countries are adequately using the fossil fuels. I will support my agreement as below. Firstly, people should be aware of these problems and start prioritizing by taking initiatives in the campaigns or activities organized by the communities. There are many organizations which coordinate workshops in educating people on why we need reduce the consumption of the fossil fuels. Moreover, advertisements play a vital role in launching new products to substitute these fossil fuels in order to reduce the consumption. For example, bio- degradable oil can be a replacement to the regular oil in order to serve the purpose. Secondly, the government started a practice in India called "Odd-Even" to promote CNG used cars. To reduce the pollution, for 2 weeks, one day vehicle numbers with an odd number will operate on the road and on the other day even number vehicles. This helped reduce the consumption of gas and also incorporated in reducing the pollution level by 4%-5%. Although, this technique did not provide a lot of contribution in diminishing the use of fossil fuels, but it is one step towards the goal. In a nutshell, I strongly agree that international communities should come up with solutions to nose drive the use of fossil fuels by integrating ways to support each other. They are definitely taking the correct path as I stated in my above examples, however, more efforts are required.
The increasing climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and the inefficient
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of our resources is leading to a disastrous life. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
, that the international communities should understand the need to take strict action to ensure all countries are
adequately
using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
. I will support my agreement as below.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should be aware of these problems and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
prioritizing by taking initiatives in the campaigns or activities organized by the communities. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
organizations which coordinate workshops in educating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on why we need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the consumption of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
.
Moreover
, advertisements play a vital role in launching new products to substitute these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the consumption.
For example
, bio- degradable oil can be a replacement to the regular oil in order to serve the purpose.

Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
a practice in India called
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Odd-Even
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
to promote CNG
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
cars. To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the pollution, for 2 weeks, one day vehicle numbers with an odd number will operate on the road and on the other day even number vehicles. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduce
the consumption of gas and
also
incorporated in reducing the pollution level by 4%-5%. Although, this technique did not provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
contribution in diminishing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is one step towards the goal.

In a nutshell, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that international communities should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with solutions to nose drive the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
by integrating ways to support each other. They are definitely taking the correct path as I stated in my above examples,
however
, more efforts
are required
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The international community should take action immediately to ensure that all countries reduce the consumption of fossil fuels, such as gas and oil. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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