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The international community should take action immediately to ensure that all countries reduce the consumption of fossil fuels, such as gas and oil. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.3

The international community should take action immediately to ensure that all countries reduce the consumption of fossil fuels, such as gas and oil. v. 3
In the present era the usage of gas and oil is significantly increasing day-to-day. Some people argued that the international community should involve in this critical problem and have to take necessary actions to reduce the consumption of fossil fuels. According to my opinion, I considered this issue a vital one and I strongly agree for this argument. This essay will discuss the importance of fossil fuel and what necessary actions we can implement to reduce the unnecessary wastage of it. To begin, Do you think controlling of non-renewable material source is an important issue, Certainly yes, because the number population is increasing every second, conversely, amount of hydrocarbon deposit decreasing drastically. E. G a latest statistics released by the UN, the population rate is increased by 5% in past 5 years, especially, in Asian countries. In addition the major reason for decreasing the fossil fuel is because of its uncontrolled usage. For an instance, a recent survey conducted in the USA reveals atrocious fact that if we were not controlling the handling of non-renewable, it will end by the next 50 years. Is there any solutions to tackle this problem, yes, there is a lot of measures we can implement to control the management of oil and gas. Firstly, we can control the usage of private vehicle. A good example, Last year in Delhi three days in one month was celebrated as 'public pooling' day. That is, everyone should travel public transport on that particular day. A recent report released by Delhi government pointed out that, in one 'public pooling' day they saved 100000 KL of petrol. Furthermore, we can select renewable source such as sunlight and wind, replace the fossil fuel with this renewable energy in some sector. For instance, the number of solar panels in industry area climbed drastically recent years. In conclusion, protecting the non-renewable energy is our responsibility. So, wisely use your power sources and try to use more renewable energy such as sunlight. We can preserve our fossil gas and oil for our future generation.
In the present era the usage of gas and oil is
significantly
increasing day-to-day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argued that the international community should involve in this critical problem and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take necessary actions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
. According to my opinion, I considered this issue a vital one and I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
for this argument. This essay will discuss the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
and what necessary actions we can implement to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the unnecessary wastage of it.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
, Do you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
controlling of non-renewable material source is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issue,
Certainly
yes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the number population is increasing every second,
conversely
, amount of hydrocarbon deposit decreasing
drastically
. E. G
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
latest statistics released by the UN, the population rate
is increased
by 5% in past 5 years,
especially
, in Asian countries. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
the major reason for decreasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its uncontrolled usage. For an instance, a recent survey conducted in the USA reveals atrocious fact that if we were not controlling the handling of non-renewable, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
by the
next
50 years.

Did you mean "are"?
Is
there any solutions to tackle this problem, yes, there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
measures we can implement to control the management of oil and gas.
Firstly
, we can control the usage of private vehicle. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example, Last year in Delhi three days in one month
was celebrated
as 'public pooling' day.
That is
, everyone should travel public transport on that particular day. A recent report released by Delhi
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
pointed out that, in one 'public pooling' day they saved 100000 KL of petrol.
Furthermore
, we can select renewable source such as sunlight and wind, replace the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
with this renewable energy in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sector.
For instance
, the number of solar panels in industry area climbed
drastically
recent years.

In conclusion
, protecting the non-renewable energy is our responsibility.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
wisely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
your power sources and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more renewable energy such as sunlight. We can preserve our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
gas and oil for our future generation.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay The international community should take action immediately to ensure that all countries reduce the consumption of fossil fuels, such as gas and oil. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
9.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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