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The important of biodiversity is being widely recognised as increasing bumbers of species come under threat. What can be done to maintain biodiversity. v.2

The important of biodiversity is being widely recognised as increasing bumbers of species come under threat. What can be done to maintain biodiversity. v. 2
It is undeniable that natural resources come under increasing pressure and the list of endangered plants and animals continuous to grow. There many reason for this consequence such as developments in agriculture, mining, logging or transport. Some people think that the loss of biodiversity is a price we must pay for progress. In my opinion, the government should be protect the world’s plants and animals. On the one hand, government should be encourages greater understanding of plants and animals. Firstly, government could introduce the important of biodiversity to many people through leaflets, newspaper or on the television. Secondly, they also could invest in the research and preservation efforts of universities, zoos and botanical institutes. This may ensure the survival of individual species and reduction some people destroyed habitat’s plants and kills animals to production new medicines and products. However, this strategy alone would do little to protect whole ecosystems that are under threat. On the other hand, an alternative strategy would be to protect natural habitats by expanding nature reserves. This would have positive results for those areas by preserving delicate ecosystems. Nevertheless, this strategy also has limitations. It does not protect from phenomena such as acid rain and water pollution which lead to affect large areas. However, there are many solution to limit the damage at its source. The government should be required to demonstrate that they have taken all reasonable efforts to minimize the damage. In addition, public contracts for roads and buildings should only be awarded to firms that have a good environment track record. In conclusion, we need to protect the world’s plants and animals and reduction the loss of biodiversity.
It is undeniable that natural resources
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
under increasing pressure and the list of endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
continuous to grow. There
Possible agreement error. The noun reason seems to be countable; consider using: "many reasons".
many reason
for this consequence such as developments in agriculture, mining, logging or transport.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the loss of biodiversity is a price we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
pay for progress. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should be
Consider using the past participle "protected"?
protect
the world’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and animals.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should be
Consider using the past participle "encouraged"?
encourages
greater understanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could introduce the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
of biodiversity to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
through leaflets, newspaper or on the television.
Secondly
, they
also
could invest in the research and preservation efforts of universities, zoos and botanical institutes. This may ensure the survival of individual species and reduction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
habitat’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and kills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to production new medicines and products.
However
, this strategy alone would do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
whole ecosystems that are under threat.

On the other hand
, an alternative strategy would be to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
natural habitats by expanding nature reserves. This would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
results for those areas by preserving delicate ecosystems.
Nevertheless
, this strategy
also
has limitations. It does not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
from phenomena such as acid rain and water pollution which lead to affect large areas.
However
, there are
Possible agreement error. The noun solution seems to be countable; consider using: "many solutions".
many solution
to limit the damage at its source. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
be required
to demonstrate that they have taken all reasonable efforts to minimize the damage.
In addition
, public contracts for roads and buildings should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be awarded
to firms that have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
environment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
record.

In conclusion
, we need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protect
the world’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and reduction the loss of biodiversity.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay The important of biodiversity is being widely recognised as increasing bumbers of species come under threat. What can be done to maintain biodiversity. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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