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The idea of going overseas for university study is an exciting prospect for many people. But while it may offer some advantages, it is probably better to stay home because of the difficulties a student inevitably encounters living and studying in a differ v.1

The idea of going overseas for university study is an exciting prospect for many people. But while it may offer some advantages, it is probably better to stay home because of the difficulties a student inevitably encounters living and studying in a differ v. 1
Nowadays, it is really easy for the people to travel various parts of the world. Some people believe that when people do their travelling, it is required to adjust for various types of cultures and norms where they are planning to move. I personally believe having the knowledge of different culture is important if we are planning visit country which has different culture and practices, but adapting to it is culture is purely depend on how long they are planning to stay there. Firstly, some people are planning to go another country to stay permanently, hence they need to familiar with new practices and norms. Unless, it is really difficult to survive there and hard to get contact with new people, not only the day to day life but also in the work place. For instance, in our culture we hug only the closest people, but in western countries they greet by hugging each others. However, there are some situations we are planning to visit another country for a few days such as trips and in this case it is not essential to adapt their culture and norms. Having the knowledge of their practices and culture is enough to visit there. Last year, I went to India with my family members and we visited many historical places and having the initial idea about their culture and history is helped to understand what the guide has explained about their history. To conclude, I can agree with this statement into some extent hence adapting to the local practices and customs is based on how long we stay in a new country.
Nowadays, it is
really
easy for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to travel various parts of the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do their travelling, it
is required
to adjust for various types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and norms where they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
. I
personally
believe having the knowledge of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
if we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practices
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
adapting to it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is
purely
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
on how long they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
to stay there.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
to go another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to stay
permanently
,
hence
they need to familiar with new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practices
and norms. Unless, it is
really
difficult to survive there and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
contact with new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in the work place.
For instance
, in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
we hug
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the closest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
they greet by hugging each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situations we are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
to visit another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for a few days such as trips and
in this case
it is not essential to adapt their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and norms. Having the knowledge of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practices
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to visit there. Last year, I went to India with my family
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
members and
we visited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
historical places and having the initial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and history is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to understand what the guide has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
about their history.

To conclude
, I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent
hence
adapting to the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
practices
and customs
is based
on how long we stay in a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay The idea of going overseas for university study is an exciting prospect for many people. But while it may offer some advantages, it is probably better to stay home because of the difficulties a student inevitably encounters living and studying in a differ v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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