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Going overseas for university study is an exciting prospect for many people But while it may offer some advantages it is probably better to stay home because of the difficulties a student inevitably encounters living and studying in a different culture v.1

Going overseas for university study is an exciting prospect for many people But while it may offer some advantages it is probably better to stay home because of the difficulties a student inevitably encounters living and studying in a different culture v. 1
Several people consider that the minimum age of matrimony should be 21. From my perspective, I agree with the viewpoint. There are a number of reasons why marriage earlier 21 is able to bring numerous disadvantages. The most obvious evidence is that teenagers under 21 are pursuing education in schools, as a result, it may exert adverse effects on their studies and their career later, if the teenagers make a family. Furthermore, the lack of a budget of the youngsters under 21 may have an impact on their lives, since they are likely to have yet to get a job in the ages. For example, a young person 17 years old does not have enough knowledge and experience to choose a job for him or her, so it can be difficult for him or her to earn money in order to rear a family. Personally, I believe that there are several reasons why 21 years old is the suitable age for marriage. First, young people in the age group may gain a wealth of knowledge about caring for babies, and the married couples will be responsible and understand each other. This is because they know their obligation towards themselves and their families. Hence, the percentage of ending in divorce will be decreased. Second, at the age of 21 and over, people are able to land a job. For instance, students 20 years old can graduate at a college after studying two years, so they can get a degree and are capable of finding a job. Therefore, they can have money to raise their families. In conclusion, I think that youngsters aged 20 and below have several problems when they go to a marriage, 21 or over is the relevant age for teenagers doing.
Several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that the minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of matrimony should be 21. From my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the viewpoint.

There are a number of reasons why marriage earlier 21 is able to bring numerous disadvantages. The most obvious evidence is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
under 21 are pursuing education in schools,
as a result
, it may exert adverse effects on their studies and their career later, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a family.
Furthermore
, the lack of a budget of the youngsters under 21 may have an impact on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, since they are likely to have
yet
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
.
For example
, a young person 17 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
does not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
knowledge and experience to choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for him or her,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it can be difficult for him or her to earn money in order to rear a family.

Personally
, I believe that there are several reasons why 21 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
is the suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
for marriage.
First
, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
group may gain a wealth of knowledge about caring for babies, and the married couples will be responsible and understand each other. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they know their obligation towards themselves and their families.
Hence
, the percentage of ending in divorce will
be decreased
. Second, at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 21 and over,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are able to land a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
For instance
, students 20 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
can
The verb 'to graduate' requires the preposition 'from': "graduate from".
graduate
at a college after studying two years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a degree and are capable of finding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Therefore
, they can have money to raise their families.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that youngsters aged 20 and below have several problems when they go to a marriage, 21 or over is the relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
doing.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Going overseas for university study is an exciting prospect for many people But while it may offer some advantages it is probably better to stay home because of the difficulties a student inevitably encounters living and studying in a different culture v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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