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The historical building in your place is in bad condition. Write to the local government. In your letter Why the building is importantwhat is the present conditionwhat actions must be taken v.1

The historical building in your place is in bad condition. Write to the local government. In your letter Why the building is importantwhat is the present conditionwhat actions must be taken v. 1
There are Hundreds of high institute or colleges in worldwide, but we need a more High academy because there are lots of students who are deprived of High institute education, so the new high school will definitely will help the students to take the advantage of this. I support the idea that the new high institute must be built in my neighbourhood. Firstly, the main important point is that the new high university will bring to many benefits not only for the students but also for the residents also. For instance, because of the new high faculty new stores will open like, stationery stores, medical stores etc. So the people who are living in the community and those who enrolled in the new high institution will definitely use these stores and there will be no need to go far away to purchase these items. For example, one of my friends who lives near to my city, has already announced these plans, now there is a new high academy in her society so now she is very happy and optimistic about her future because before that there were no high academy in her neighbourhood and she always used to travel 4 to 5 kilometres which is very hectic. Therefore, new high school will help the students and also for the residents. Secondly, because of the new high institution, there will be employment opportunities for the people who live in that community and for the one who live near to that centre, because of the new shops like stationary stores, medical stores, food stalls. For example, my brother who lived in the rural areas and that his public decided to build a new high school around 2 years ago now, his rural area has now changed dramatically because new shops provide an opportunity for the people who are unemployed. Therefore, because of the new high academy and shops, crime rates are not on the verge of the line. In conclusion, there are lots of advantages of building a new high school not for the people who live in the neighbourhood, but for the one who live near to our community.
There are Hundreds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
institute or colleges in worldwide,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we need a more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
High
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are deprived
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
High
institute education,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will definitely will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to take the advantage of this. I support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
institute
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be built
in my
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
.

Firstly
, the main
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
university will bring to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the residents
also
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
faculty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
will open like, stationery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
, medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are living in the community and those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
enrolled in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
institution will definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
and there will be no need to go far away to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
these items.
For example
, one of my friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "live"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'friends' should be used.
lives
near to my city, has already announced these plans,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academy
in her society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
she is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy and optimistic about her future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
that there were no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academy
in her
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
neighbourhood and
she always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to travel 4 to 5
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
hectic.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
also
for the residents.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
institution, there will be employment opportunities for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in that community and for the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
near to that
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
shops like
Did you mean "stationery" (= materials for writing) instead of 'stationary' (= immobile/unchanged)?
stationary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
, medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
, food stalls.
For example
, my brother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in the rural areas and that his public decided to build a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
around 2 years ago
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
, his rural area has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
dramatically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
shops provide an opportunity for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are unemployed
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academy
and shops, crime rates are not on the verge of the line.

In conclusion
, there are lots of advantages of building a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
not for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
near to our community.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The historical building in your place is in bad condition. Write to the local government. In your letter Why the building is importantwhat is the present conditionwhat actions must be taken v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
358 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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