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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to marry someone who is similar to you, rather than someone who is different from you. v.230

It is better to marry someone who is similar to you, rather than someone who is different from you. v. 230
Several products that we purchase are manufactured in other nations. This essay looks forward to elaborating firstly, The most advantage is that different varieties of the same product and secondly, the most disadvantage is that, purchasing, the products affects the local recession. The main advantage of buying products made by another country is that multiple choice and different varieties of the same profit. When purchasing a product, we have been provided with multiple options like Model, design, technology advancement and cost of the specific product from assorted brands. Moreover, we can compare and pick the best competitive products from the market based on the requirement. For example, Amazon online retail market is one of the multi brand online networks which sells all international products. . On the other hand, the main disadvantage is that, purchasing, international brand products affects the local recession. While purchasing the other national goods our local production goods are unsold left over. Furthermore, this affects the financial state of our own country. The national recession is directly linked with things like how many goods and services are produced and how much money people have spent on these manufactures. Besides this, local manufacture get loss and many of citizen loose their jobs. For example, supermarkets are one of the best to relate this situation. . To conclude, purchasing products made by other countries have numerous choices to pick the best suitable for our requirement. However, it affects the local economy and people lose their jobs. In my opinion both have the equal advantages and disadvantages.
Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
are manufactured
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations. This essay looks forward to elaborating
firstly
,

The most advantage is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
varieties of the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and
secondly
, the most disadvantage is that, purchasing, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affects
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
recession.

The main advantage of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
made by another country is that multiple choice and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
varieties of the same profit. When purchasing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, we have
been provided
with multiple options like Model, design, technology advancement and cost of the specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
from assorted brands.
Moreover
, we can compare and pick the best competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from the market based on the requirement.
For example
, Amazon online retail market is one of the multi brand online networks which sells all international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the main disadvantage is that, purchasing, international brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affects
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
recession.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
purchasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
production
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
are unsold
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
over.
Furthermore
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affects
the financial state of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country. The national recession is
directly
linked with things like how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services
are produced
and how much money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have spent on these manufactures.
Besides
this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
manufacture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
loss and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of citizen
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
their jobs.
For example
, supermarkets are one of the best to relate this situation.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.


To conclude
, purchasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
made by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries have numerous choices to pick the best suitable for our requirement.
However
, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affects
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
economy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lose their jobs. In my opinion both have the equal advantages and disadvantages.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay It is better to marry someone who is similar to you, rather than someone who is different from you. v. 230

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
258 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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