Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.31

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 31
Whether or not individuals should watch movies on the modern gadgets, such as mobile phones has become a controversial issue. While some people believe that the need to go to multiplexes has reduced, others are in favour of going to the cinema. This essay intends to delve into both sides of the argument in depth. I, however, believe that both approaches have their own advantages. To commence with, a vast majority of people claim that modern devices provide plenty of opportunities to entertain, therefore it is not wise to waste an ample amount of money. Since there are lots of channels and sources which can be easily used by the masses, and moreover, internet facilities are a worldwide network so one can enjoy watching their favourite movies at the comfort of their couch. In most of the countries, for instance, most of the youngsters prefer to use the mobile phones to download the latest movies to recreate themselves in their leisure time. Thus, it would not be wrong to say that these equipments have provided us with the latest means of recreation. In contrast, the opponents of the perspective argue that these cannot act as a substitute to the fun that a person can enjoy while seeing pictures on a big screen. If an individual purchase tickets for watching movies in the cinema hall, he would get an opportunity to relax himself without any disturbance, and the enjoyment is further enhanced with lots of people whistling and applauding the performance of the stars. For example, anyone will feel distracted in the homes, which can minimise the enthusiasm related to the thrill and the excitement involved. To elucidate, they are right in thinking cinemas have their own significance and no gadget can replace the advantage of seeing on a huge screen. In conclusion, despite having different opinions for the best source of enjoying movies, I think the two ways are crucial in their own way and have distinct pros. One section of the community favours the use of tablets, whereas others consider it is better to follow the big hall for this purpose.
Consider shortening this phrase to just "Whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Whether or not
individuals should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on the modern gadgets, such as mobile phones has become a controversial issue. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the need to go to multiplexes has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
, others are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of going to the cinema. This essay intends to delve into both sides of the argument in depth. I,
however
, believe that both approaches have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages.

To commence with, a vast majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that modern devices provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of opportunities to entertain,
therefore
it is not wise to waste an ample amount of money. Since there are lots of channels and sources which can be
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the masses, and
moreover
, internet facilities are a worldwide network
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
one can enjoy watching their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
at the comfort of their couch. In most of the countries,
for instance
, most of the youngsters prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the mobile phones to download the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
to recreate themselves in their leisure time.
Thus
, it would not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to say that these equipments have provided us with the latest means of recreation.

In contrast
, the opponents of the perspective argue that these cannot act as a substitute to the fun that a person can enjoy while seeing pictures on a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
screen. If an individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
tickets for watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in the cinema hall, he would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an opportunity to relax himself without any disturbance, and the enjoyment is
further
enhanced with lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
whistling and applauding the performance of the stars.
For example
, anyone will feel distracted in the homes, which can
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the enthusiasm related to the thrill and the excitement involved. To elucidate, they are right in thinking cinemas have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
significance and no gadget can replace the advantage of seeing on a huge screen.

In conclusion
, despite having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions for the best source of enjoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the two ways are crucial in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way and have distinct pros. One section of the community
Possible spelling mistake. 'favours' is British English.
favours
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of tablets, whereas others consider it is better to follow the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
hall for this purpose.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Others say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema. v. 31

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts