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The growth of Online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree? v.33

The growth of Online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 33
Some people believe that in the not so distant future physical shops in towns and cities would have to close down. In my opinion, I agree that this would definitely happen as recent consumer behaviour trends already point out. One major reason brick and mortar shops may soon become a thing of the past is the changes in human behaviour. People today are generally time poor. We live in a world of heavy traffic and longer working hours and as such most people do not relish the idea of going to shopping centres and having to spend several hours. For instance, a study carried out by the New York Times in 2018 showed that the number of people who shop exclusively online increased by 85% in the last decade. What this means is that physical stores are getting less traffic as their potential clients have shifted to the more convenient option of buying online. Another thing to consider is that new entrants into retail business are choosing to run their stores online as against opening physical stores. They choose this route because it reduces cost of entry considering they could run a profitable business venture right from their living room. This assertion is supported by recent studies by research organisations which have shown that with the advent of social media sites like Instagram and Facebook, a lot of businesses now run their stores solely on these sites. In other words existing stores are dwindling in number and new ones are also not springing up. To conclude, going by the recent trend in consumer shopping preferences it is certain that one day soon all physical shops in urban areas will be forced to move to online channels and ultimately close their doors.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that in the not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
distant future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in towns and cities would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
close down. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that this would definitely happen as recent consumer
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
trends already point out.

One major reason brick and mortar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
become a thing of the past is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in human
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are
generally
time poor. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a world of heavy traffic and longer working hours and as such most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not relish the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of going to shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and having to spend several hours.
For instance
, a study carried out by the New York Times in 2018
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
exclusively online increased by 85% in the last decade. What this means is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
are getting less traffic as their potential clients have shifted to the more convenient option of buying online.

Another thing to consider is that new entrants into retail business are choosing to run their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
online as against opening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
. They choose this route
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
cost of entry considering they could run a profitable business venture right from their living room. This assertion
is supported
by recent studies by research
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
which have shown that with the advent of social media sites like Instagram and Facebook,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
businesses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
run their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
solely
on these sites.
In other words
existing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
are dwindling in number and new ones are
also
not springing up.

To conclude
, going by the recent trend in consumer shopping preferences it is certain that one day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
in urban areas will
be forced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to online channels and
ultimately
close their doors.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The growth of Online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 33

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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