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Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect environment. what is possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society? v.1

Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect environment. what is possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society? v. 1
One of the most concern issues related to our surrounding is contaminated water caused the human's variety of organization to the environment. There seem to be two main causes involved, and a multi-sided damaging effect on people and the biosphere, which we will discuss here. Apparently, the main factor is the issue of emissions from cars, industries and other human activities, leading to form these threatened atoms more serious and complicated to prevent to some extent. In other words, these emissions contain damaging pollutant particles, and particular area's free flow of water source is tainted with these elements due to the lack of opportunity to distinguish drink supplies from polluted range, as we are seeing in Eastern Europe today. These countries are claiming that the accumulation system can be significant to contribute protection project. The other major cause is that increasing dumping of waste products, especially referred to non-recycled items such as computer chips, battery and some locomotives can be controversial to global extent, meaning that there is an exclusive anticipation that one nation's waste is influencing other's safety to irrigation by the way that some harmful particles is moving directly without secure through the atmosphere. The reflex on an animal can be severe, especially for an endangered species by threats such as poaching, habitat loss and food chain disruption which is itself regarded as a contradictory act. This means that contaminated rainwater results to dwindle the number of endangered animals, and thus called potential extinction, as may indeed happen to the Asian tiger. Additionally, the response of the human life is also distressing. Poisoning of drinking water can be a consequence of famine, drought and lack of irrigation, affecting negatively the welfare of all of people, especially for the very poorest in society as least resources to overcome. To summarize, we see that emissions and dumping are the main origins of the problem, and that the outcome on human and animals are exacerbated by environmental or criminal problems.
One of the most concern issues related to our surrounding
is contaminated
water caused the human's variety of organization to the environment. There seem to be two main causes involved, and a multi-sided damaging effect on
people
and the biosphere, which we will discuss here.

Apparently
, the main factor is the issue of emissions from cars, industries and other human activities, leading to form these threatened atoms more serious and complicated to
prevent
to
some
extent.
In other words
, these emissions contain damaging pollutant particles, and particular area's free flow of water source
is tainted
with these elements due to the lack of opportunity to distinguish drink supplies from polluted range, as we are seeing in Eastern Europe
today
. These countries are claiming that the accumulation system can be significant to contribute protection project. The other major cause is that increasing dumping of waste products,
especially
referred to non-recycled items such as computer chips, battery and
some
locomotives can be controversial to global extent, meaning that there is an exclusive anticipation that one nation's waste is influencing other's safety to irrigation by the way that
some
harmful particles is moving
directly
without secure through the atmosphere.

The reflex on an animal can be severe,
especially
for an endangered species by threats such as poaching, habitat loss and food chain disruption which is itself regarded as a contradictory act. This means that contaminated rainwater results to dwindle the number of endangered animals, and
thus
called potential extinction, as may
indeed
happen to the Asian tiger.
Additionally
, the response of the human life is
also
distressing. Poisoning of drinking water can be a consequence of famine, drought and lack of irrigation, affecting
negatively
the welfare of all of
people
,
especially
for the
very
poorest in society as least resources to overcome.

To summarize
, we
see
that emissions and dumping are the main origins of the problem, and that the outcome on human and animals
are exacerbated
by environmental or criminal problems.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect environment. what is possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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