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The growth of Online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree? v.34

Omnipresent, online shopping becomes enormously popular. Some vibe that the rising of electronic shopping will lead and traditional store closing in towns and cities. This essay will discuss in details if online shopping is trendy, but why not ending traditional shop in town. First and foremost, our society has all most 35% population is a senior citizen who is love going to shop in a traditional shopping plaza. They are like to buy goods with physically. For example, I am shopping generally online, but my father goes in the marker and brings fresh fruits, vegetables and grocery goods. Otherwise, old people going to the marker to meet with friends and time passing. That way, the shopping mall is a very crowded place in towns as well. On the other hand, holiday trend, whole family leisure time passing in a shopping mall. Because of nowadays majority people busy for office or business that’s why, when get the time they are going outside. In cities, although not enough place, that's why the multiplex shopping mall is a comfort zone furthermore there gets many things space. Thus, currently multiplex market is enhancing elevated. For instance, the Daily Star Newspaper reveals that last five-year increase of 25% shopping plaza owing to boost people to market for shopping, eating, watching movies and others. If, accretion a rapidly online marker, besides popular traditional marker in cities. In conclusion, this essay discussed traditional stay in towns since old people like shopping physically and holidays to get together with family. However, undoubtedly online shopping is a superior nowadays, but shopping mall never stopping in cities for very popular and entertaining place.
Omnipresent,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
becomes
enormously
popular.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
vibe that the rising of electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
will lead and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
store closing in towns and cities. This essay will discuss in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is trendy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
why not ending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
shop in town.

First
and foremost, our society has all most 35% population is a senior citizen who is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
going to shop in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
plaza. They are like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
with
physically
.
For example
, I am
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
generally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my father goes in the marker and brings fresh fruits, vegetables and grocery
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
Otherwise
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going to the marker to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with friends and time passing. That way, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crowded place in towns
as well
.

On the other hand
, holiday trend, whole family leisure time passing in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of nowadays majority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
busy for office or business that’s why, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the time they are going outside. In cities, although not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
place, that's why the multiplex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
is a comfort zone
furthermore
there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things space.
Thus
,
currently
multiplex market is enhancing elevated.
For instance
, the Daily Star Newspaper reveals that last five-year increase of 25%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
plaza owing to boost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to market for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, eating, watching movies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
. If, accretion a
rapidly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
marker,
besides
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
marker in cities.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
stay in towns since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
physically
and holidays to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
together with family.
However
,
undoubtedly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is a superior nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
never stopping in cities for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular and entertaining place.
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IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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