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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree? v.20

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 20
With the boom in IT and e-commerce businesses, online shopping websites have taken the world by storm. Although retail shops in various towns and cities will maintain their existence in the near future, yet, I agree that online shopping will have the edge over them as it is more convenient, is becoming increasingly transparent and saves retailers money. One of the main advantages of shopping online is that it offers more convenience. People can log onto a website like eBay, browse through the discounts offered by various brands, and purchase within a few minutes. Once the purchase is made, the product gets delivered at your doorstep within a few days, free of charge. Also, online shopping is gaining the trust of shoppers worldwide. Back in the old days, sellers would post images that would not represent the product precisely. This would eventually result in customers' dissatisfaction with the product. However, this trend is changing now, and retailers are uploading exact pictures of the items offered. This has resulted in increased satisfaction from the buyer's side. Lastly, an increasing trend of online shopping helps retailers as well. Sellers do not have to worry about displaying their products in windows and glass cabinets. One can just rent a storage facility in a remote place and operate from there. This eventually results in retailers packing more items in small spaces and making substantial rental savings. Thus, one can see the advantages offered by online shopping as compared to physical shops scattered throughout the world.
With the boom in IT and e-commerce businesses,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
websites have taken the world by storm. Although retail shops in various towns and cities will maintain their existence in the near future,
yet
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
will have the edge over them as it is more convenient, is becoming
increasingly
transparent and saves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retailers
money.

One of the main advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is that it offers more convenience.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
can log onto a website like eBay, browse through the discounts offered by various brands, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
within a few minutes. Once the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
is made
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
delivered at your doorstep within a few days, free of charge.

Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is gaining the trust of shoppers worldwide. Back in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days, sellers would post images that would not represent the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
precisely
. This would
eventually
result in customers' dissatisfaction with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
However
, this trend is changing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retailers
are uploading exact pictures of the items offered. This has resulted in increased satisfaction from the buyer's side.

Lastly
, an increasing trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retailers
as well
. Sellers do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about displaying their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in windows and glass cabinets. One can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
rent a storage facility in a remote place and operate from there. This
eventually
results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retailers
packing more items in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
spaces and making substantial rental savings.

Thus
, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the advantages offered by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as compared to physical shops scattered throughout the world.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 20

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
251 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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