Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In many countries children are getting fatter and less fit day by day. Why is it so and suggest solution. v.1

In many countries children are getting fatter and less fit day by day. Why is it so and suggest solution. v. 1
The changes in the lifestyles over the years have proved to affect children’s health negatively. There are many factors that have contributed to this dilemma, among which the unhealthy eating choices and lack of physical activity are the most prominent. I will discuss these factors in the discussion below, while also suggesting the way out. The prime reason for the rising obesity among children around different regions is the over consumption of junk food. The growing trend of fast food eateries has provided people with the comfort meals at comparatively lesser prices than before. Additionally, the busy schedules of the family members regarding their work and household duties have also added to its demand. This obesity also leads to various health issues for these children in later life. The other major contributing factor in this regard is the decrease of sports and other recreational activities for children. Advancement in technology has handed over android phones and tablets to as young as toddlers, who prefer to watch cartoons and play games than to play any physical game. This inclination than becomes part of their life. Thus, unhealthy eating with limited or no bodily activity hampers the normal growth and overall health of the younger generation. To counter this important issue, awareness needs to be created among the parents specifically to put a limit on the junk diet consumed by the family. Advertisements by motivational speakers and real life examples dealing with the aftermath of such regular unhealthy meal choices should be made part of the everyday media. In addition to this, sports activities should be made compulsory from the elementary level at schools for every kid. Similarly, the screen time at homes should be reduced to a maximum of an hour per day, so that children engage in other productive activities during their leisure time. According to a recent study by Learning Hub, it has been declared that increased exposure to digital gadgets hampers mental as well as the physical development of the children. Therefore, here parents need to be strict for the betterment of their kids. To conclude, it is an undeniable fact that easy and affordable availability of fast food has made its way to every home, but it needs to be controlled to an acceptable limit to save children from its detrimental impacts. Additionally, the rise in usage of mobile phones and computers has also reduced the children’s play time. It should be restricted to motivate children to play physical games to stay healthy and not to fall prey of obesity.
The
changes
in the lifestyles over the years have proved to affect
children’s
health
negatively
. There are
many
factors that have contributed to this dilemma, among which the unhealthy eating choices and lack of
physical
activity
are the most prominent. I will discuss these factors in the discussion below, while
also
suggesting the way out.

The prime reason for the rising obesity among
children
around
different
regions is the over consumption of junk food. The growing trend of
fast
food eateries has provided
people
with the comfort meals at
comparatively
lesser prices than
before
.
Additionally
, the busy schedules of the family members regarding their work and household duties have
also
added
to its demand. This obesity
also
leads to various health issues for these
children
in later life. The other major contributing factor in this regard is the decrease of sports and other recreational
activities
for
children
. Advancement in technology has handed over android phones and tablets to as young as toddlers, who prefer to
watch
cartoons and
play
games than to
play
any
physical
game. This inclination than becomes part of their life.
Thus
, unhealthy eating with limited or no
bodily
activity
hampers the normal growth and
overall
health of the younger generation.

To counter this
important
issue, awareness needs to
be created
among the parents
specifically
to put a limit on the junk diet consumed by the family. Advertisements by motivational speakers and real life examples dealing with the aftermath of such regular unhealthy meal choices should
be made
part of the everyday media.
In addition
to this, sports
activities
should
be made
compulsory from the elementary level at schools for every kid.
Similarly
, the screen time at homes should be
reduced
to a maximum of an hour per day,
so
that
children
engage in other productive
activities
during their leisure time. According to a recent study by Learning Hub, it has
been declared
that increased exposure to digital gadgets hampers mental
as well
as the
physical
development of the
children
.
Therefore
, here parents need to be strict for the betterment of their kids.

To conclude
, it is an undeniable fact that easy and affordable availability of
fast
food has made its way to every home,
but
it needs to
be controlled
to an acceptable limit to save
children
from its detrimental impacts.
Additionally
, the rise in usage of mobile phones and computers has
also
reduced
the
children’s
play
time. It should
be restricted
to motivate
children
to
play
physical
games to stay healthy and not to fall prey of obesity.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay In many countries children are getting fatter and less fit day by day. Why is it so and suggest solution. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
423 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts