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People today know fewer of their neighbours than in the past. Why is this? What can be done to solve this problem? v.1

People today know fewer of their neighbours than in the past. Why is this? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 1
The probability of people knowing their neighbour is far less now than in the past. This trend is mainly due to long working hours and depending on technology. However, there are a number of measures that can be implemented to resolve this issue. One of the reasons for realizing limited society members is due to the increase in the amount of office work especially in urban areas. Because of the high competition in the consumer market each and every company wants to deliver product on time, which resulted in a drastic increase in effort and time required for any employee. Breadwinners has to put in more effort and additional hours to finish tasks within the given time period, due to which employees spend less time with their friends and family. In addition to that, the advancement in technology caused most of the public to communicate via text message or over the phone rather than meeting in person which in turn lead to reduced face time with each other. This can be resolved using a number of ways so that improvement in knowing each other in the neighbourhood increases. Firstly, governments and corporate bodies should reduce the working hours of its employees at all levels and adopt flexible working hours so that office workers get more time to mingle with other fellow colleagues as well with friends, families and neighbourhood which in turn improve interaction with surrounding communities. Secondly, community centres should be built and community members should be invited to conduct social meetings to meet and greet each other face to face so that the communication as well as the sense of bonding between neighbours can be made strong. I concede that this would be a difficult task, but people can come closer together and develop a physically by knowing each other very well. In conclusion, the lack of community centres and the wide gap between social circle and local communities lead to disconnect in the neighbourhood. Only when governments and corporate bodies are able to ensure its employees about reducing working hours at all levels, will this situation be remedied.
The probability of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
knowing their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
is far less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
than in the past. This trend is
mainly
due to long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and depending on technology.
However
, there are a number of measures that can
be implemented
to resolve this issue.

One of the reasons for realizing limited society members is due to the increase in the amount of office work
especially
in urban areas.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the high competition in the consumer market each and every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
wants to deliver product on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, which resulted in a drastic increase in effort and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
required for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
. Breadwinners
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
put in more effort and additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
to finish tasks within the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
period, due to which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
spend less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their friends and family.
In addition
to that, the advancement in technology caused most of the public to communicate via text message or over the phone
rather
than meeting in person which in turn lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with each other.

This can
be resolved
using a number of ways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that improvement in knowing each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
increases.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and corporate bodies should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
at all levels and adopt flexible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that office workers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to mingle with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
Consider using "colleagues".
fellow colleagues
as well
with friends, families and
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
which in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
interaction with surrounding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
should
be built
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
members should
be invited
to conduct social meetings to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and greet each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
face to face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the communication
as well
as the sense of bonding between
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
can
be made
strong. I concede that this would be a difficult task,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
closer together and develop a
physically
by knowing each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well.

In conclusion
, the lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and the wide gap between social circle and local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
lead to disconnect in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and corporate bodies are able to ensure its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
about reducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
at all levels, will this situation
be remedied
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay People today know fewer of their neighbours than in the past. Why is this? What can be done to solve this problem? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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