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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree? v.16

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 16
It is argued that increase in internet shopping will eventually lead to the closure of shops in towns and cities. This essay disagrees with the statement and believes that traditional shopping will always be an imperative mode for making purchases. This essay will firstly discuss how in-store shopping is a necessity in under developed or ignorant areas and secondly, the risk of unknown primarily makes online shopping a second option. Despite the fact that usage of modern communication devices has risen, still there is a great proportion of the population who does not know how to operate a simple mobile phone. The 775 million illiterate people around the globe can meet their shopping needs primarily through the conventional mediums. For example, in a developing country Pakistan, there are only 22% internet subscribers. However, it is an undeniable fact that online purchasing though minimal, is on the rise even in underprivileged areas of the world. Secondly, online shopping does not ensure peace of mind in terms of reliability of the product. The consumer has to make a purchase on the basis of the virtual details available on the online portals. They cannot physically examine the product to check for being appropriate and genuine according to the need. For example, according to a recent survey in Pakistan, people rated product's originality as the biggest concern in making an online purchase. However, internet shopping through the variety, time saving and competitively lower pricing has become 'a youth's favourite'. In conclusion, in-store shopping with its exclusive benefits is a necessity for a bigger population that cannot be completely replaced by its counterpart, virtual shopping ever.
It
is argued
that increase in internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
will
eventually
lead to the closure of shops in towns and cities. This essay disagrees with the statement and believes that traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
will always be an imperative mode for making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
. This essay will
firstly
discuss how in-store
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is a necessity in under developed or ignorant areas and
secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of unknown
primarily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
a second option.

Despite the fact that usage of modern communication devices has risen,
still
there is a great proportion of the population who does not know how to operate a simple mobile phone. The 775 million illiterate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the globe can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
needs
primarily
through the conventional mediums.
For example
, in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing country
Pakistan, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
22% internet subscribers.
However
, it is an undeniable fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
purchasing though minimal, is on the rise even in underprivileged areas of the world.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
does not ensure peace of mind in terms of reliability of the product. The consumer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
on the basis of the virtual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
available on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
portals. They cannot
physically
examine the product to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
for being appropriate and genuine according to the need.
For example
, according to a recent survey in Pakistan,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
rated product's originality as the biggest concern in making an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
.
However
, internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
through the variety, time saving and
competitively
lower pricing has become 'a youth's
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
'.

In conclusion
, in-store
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
with its exclusive benefits is a necessity for a bigger population that cannot be completely replaced by its counterpart, virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
ever.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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