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In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this? v.17

In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this? v. 17
Teenager's safety, in certain areas of the US, has become a concern and, in light of this, the government has imposed a "curfew" on teenagers spending time outside their homes beyond a certain hour at night. Although this restriction should reduce the number of criminal incidences against teenagers outside their homes, in my opinion instead of curbing their mobility the focus should be on increased vigilance, identification and prosecution of criminals. Recent incidences have come to light where unaccompanied young adults and children have become the target of criminals in the smaller cities of US. These incidences are generally reported to happen later in the night and have included crimes like theft, gun violence and sexual assault. Due to lower levels of visibility and lack of enough lighting, late night has always been the preferred time for perpetrators of crime. Although it is sad, but young ones like children and teenagers are easy targets of such attacks and has created an alarming situation in these areas. Keeping in mind the safety of the young population, the government has come up with a restriction on the movement of teenagers outside their homes without an accompanying adult. Such a move reduces the young people's ability to navigate their society and develop fully and instead might instil a fear in them of being outside their homes alone. Also, this would not help in sending the criminals behind bars and eliminating the root-cause. In conclusion, I believe the government should make it a priority to increase vigilance in the probable areas and investigate in a more thorough manner to arrest the criminals. The mobility restriction seems more of a knee-jerk reaction to the problem than a well-thought-out solution.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenager
's safety, in certain areas of the US, has become a concern and, in light of this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has imposed a
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
curfew
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
spending time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
beyond a certain hour at night. Although this restriction should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
incidences against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
, in my opinion
instead
of curbing their mobility the focus should be on increased vigilance, identification and prosecution of criminals.

Recent incidences have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to light where unaccompanied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults and children have become the target of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in the smaller cities of US. These incidences are
generally
The verb 'reported' is used with the gerund form: "reported happening".
reported to happen
later in the night and have included crimes like theft, gun violence and sexual assault. Due to lower levels of visibility and lack of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
lighting, late night has always been the preferred time for perpetrators of crime. Although it is sad,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
ones like children and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
are easy targets of such attacks and has created an alarming situation in these areas.

Keeping in mind the safety of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
population, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with a restriction on the movement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teenagers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
without an accompanying adult. Such a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's ability to navigate their society and develop
fully
and
instead
might
Possible spelling mistake. 'instil' is British English.
instil
a fear in them of being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
outside
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
homes
alone.
Also
, this would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in sending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
behind bars and eliminating the root-cause.

In conclusion
, I believe the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it a priority to increase vigilance in the probable areas and investigate in a more thorough manner to arrest the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
. The mobility restriction seems more of a knee-jerk reaction to the problem than a well-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
-out solution.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay In some areas of the US, a 'curfew' is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this? v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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