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The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities. v. 2
Web shopping is increasing drastically with increasing in new generation. The day will come when all the shopping will be done on online in every city or towns. Internet plays a major role and it's become part of people's daily day-to-day life. I personally believe, even though online shopping is trending I don't think so, that stores will close. In this essay we will discuss how it is growing and what effects it have on local shops. To start with, online shopping is booming at a very high rate due to its different features. It save's lot of time and you can look at the vast majority of items. It is easy for cost comparing where you can get an item which you required with different price set by different sellers and that makes easier for buyer to choose the best price for him. It is more relaxing as one doesn't need to leave their comfort zone. You get all items in one place within just a few clicks. For example, If you need to buy a book and you go to a local library, you might not find that book and you need to look around for that book, but, whereas in online such as Amazon you can find all the available in the world which make more quick to get your item without looking around for it. It does affect the local shop as their rate will be higher then an online shopping platform. But, web shopping platforms are made by big companies which affect the local sellers as they have to sell their items on this multinational company's platform which cut down their profits. In conclusion, In my opinion online shopping is great and it is more convenient for every one, but it does affect the local shops which some time makes them to sell their item even cheap without any profit.
Web
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is increasing
drastically
with increasing in new generation. The day will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
when all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
will
be done
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
in every city or towns. Internet plays a major role and it's become part of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's daily day-to-day life. I
personally
believe,
even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is trending I don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, that stores will close. In this essay we will discuss how it is growing and what effects it have on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shops.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is booming at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high rate due to its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
features. It
Do not use 's with a verb. Did you mean "saves"?
save's
lot of time and you can look at the vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
. It is easy for cost comparing where you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
which you required with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
price set by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sellers and that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
easier for buyer to choose the best price for him.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
It
is more relaxing as one doesn't need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their comfort zone. You
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
in one place within
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few clicks.
For example
, If you need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a book and you go to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
library, you might not find that book and you need to look around for that book,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, whereas in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
such as Amazon you can find all the available in the world which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more quick to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
without looking around for it. It does affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shop as their rate will be
Did you mean "higher than"?
higher then
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
platform.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, web
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
platforms
are made
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
which affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
sellers as they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
on this multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's platform which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down their profits.

In conclusion
, In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is great and it is more convenient for every one,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it does affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
shops which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them to sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
without any profit.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities. v. 2

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
315 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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