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The grown of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in town and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

The grown of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in town and cities closing. v. 1
Technology impacts our shopping habits through stores on the internet. Some people believe that these websites will lead to a closure of the real world stores. I strongly disagree with them, since this virtual approach may be complicated to use and can not provide all the experiences of physical stores. The fact that it is not possible to try on products at online stores can make the buying process difficult and boring. Althought it is possible to return online bought items, customers can spend much time until they find the perfect product. For instance, buying clothes on websites can be a hard task when the person's sizes are not well known. If a wrong size item was chosen, it will take some time to return and receive the correct one. However, in traditional stores, it is possible to try different sizes, solving this problem quickly. Additionally, there are unique experiences that only can be provided by real stores. As an example, perfume shops allow their clients to smell their fragrances in order to decide which one is better. It would be very difficult to choose based just on pictures of the products. Also, there is the human customer care factor. From my personal experience, when I get help from a dedicated salesperson, I tend to spend more money at the store. I believe most of people feels this way on stores. Again, this can not be provided by a website. In conclusion, although online shopping is a popular method of buying products, I do not believe it is going to replace the old fashion way of visiting a store, since the internet platform do not allow customers to try on products or provide real life experiences, including human customer care.
Technology impacts our shopping habits through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
on the internet.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that these websites will lead to a closure of the real world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
. I
strongly
disagree with them, since this virtual approach may
be complicated
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and can not provide all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
of physical stores.

The fact that it is not possible to try on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
at online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the buying process difficult and boring.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Althought
it is possible to return online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
items,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
can spend much time until they find the perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
For instance
, buying clothes on websites can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
task when the person's sizes are not well known. If a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
size item
was chosen
, it will take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to return and receive the correct one.
However
, in traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
, it is possible to try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sizes, solving this problem
quickly
.

Additionally
, there are unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
be provided
by real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
. As an example, perfume shops
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
their clients to smell their fragrances in order to decide which one is better. It would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to choose based
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
on pictures of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Also
, there is the human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
care factor. From my personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from a dedicated salesperson, I tend to spend more money at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
. I believe most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feels this way on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
. Again, this can not
be provided
by a website.

In conclusion
, although online shopping is a popular method of buying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, I do not believe it is going to replace the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
fashion way of visiting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
, since the internet platform do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
to try on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
or provide real life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
, including human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customer
care.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay The grown of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in town and cities closing. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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