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Most people prefer ready to eat food than home-made food now. Do you think it has more advantages or more disadvantages? v.1

Most people prefer ready to eat food than home-made food now. Do you think it has more advantages or more disadvantages? v. 1
In the contemporary era, there is a heated argument over the issue that the advertisement between film/programs is useless. But a lion share of society favours that advertisement has a lot of benefits to society. The following paragraphs would highlight my personal perspective along with Apt an example. I do not see eye to eye with the central ideas for various reasons. First and foremost the advertisements confuse the buyers with a desired vision of reality, Some advertisers cleverly create misleading impressions of their goods—they present a very rosy picture of their products with the object of increasing their sales. In reality, their item is of inferior quality. Secondly, add to costs An organization has to spend a large amount on advertising. It increases the cost of the products. To meet this expenditure, the price of the product is raised. No manufacturer pays for the advertising expenses out of his pocket. Advertising, therefore, leads to an unnecessary rise in prices. In this reference, it is said that advertising costs are passed on to the consumers in the form of high prices. On the other hand, I believe that advertisements between film or programs have a lot of benefits as well it helps to get more information about new branded products and the latest gadgets. Moreover, sometimes advertisement works as a social responsibility from the government sides to give awareness advertisements about the spreading diseases/ disasters. However, it helps people do get beware about the diseases and get a lot of information like helpline number, safety measures what to do or not. For example, Recently in China, we heard about the corona disease at that time all over the world there were lots of rumours are spreading. At that time the WHO (world health organization) and each government made social awareness advertisements, and it showed between the programs to cut out the rumours and the fears of the people about the Corona virus In conclusion, it is clear that the advertisements between programs have more benefits than its drawbacks.
In the contemporary era, there is a heated argument over the issue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
between film/programs is useless.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
a lion share of society
Possible spelling mistake. 'favours' is British English.
favours
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of benefits to society. The following paragraphs would highlight my personal perspective along with Apt an example.

I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
eye to eye with the central
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
for various reasons.
First
and foremost the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
confuse the buyers with a desired vision of reality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
advertisers
cleverly
create misleading impressions of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
—they present a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rosy picture of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
with the object of increasing their sales. In reality, their item is of inferior quality.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to
The verb after "to" should be in the base form: "cost".
costs
An organization
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
spend a large amount on advertising. It increases the cost of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
this expenditure, the price of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is raised
. No manufacturer pays for the advertising expenses out of his pocket. Advertising,
therefore
, leads to an unnecessary rise in prices. In this reference, it
is said
that advertising costs
are passed
on to the consumers in the form of high prices.

On the other hand
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
between film or programs have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of benefits
as well
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more information about new branded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and the latest gadgets.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
works as a social responsibility from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
sides to give awareness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
about the spreading diseases/ disasters.
However
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Did you mean: "beware of"?
beware about
the diseases and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of information like helpline number, safety measures what to do or not.
For example
, Recently in China, we heard about the corona disease at that time all over the world there were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lots
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
rumours
are spreading. At that time the WHO (
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world health organization
) and each
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
made social awareness
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
between the programs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
out the
Possible spelling mistake found.
rumours
and the fears of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about the
The term "Coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
Corona virus


In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
between programs have more benefits than its drawbacks.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Most people prefer ready to eat food than home-made food now. Do you think it has more advantages or more disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
338 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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