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The graphs below show the primary social networking of British users in 2010 and projected figures for 2018. v.1

The graphs below show the primary social networking of British users in 2010 and projected figures for 2018. v. 1
Tourist and scientist collaboration in migration to ancient natural environments such as south pole is a recent development, which facilitates scientific research and results, by minimising time spent in search of a quest. However, this collaboration could have its downside, as the tourists could be highly distracted by other artefact which are not of scientific importance. As a result, academic research parties and tourist travelling together to the remote environs has its benefits and disadvantages. The migration of both researchers and tourists to the remote natural environment has its benefit, which is time maximization, ultimately, speeds up research processes and results. Tourist are usually familiar with the geography of distance vicinity, hence, enables the academic researchers to locate their specific quest and other sites needed to be researched without perambulating. For instance, the geographical location of a tree from which medications for hemorrhagic fever was initially secured was first spotted by a tourist on their initial tour. This initial discovery by the tourist facilitated the research process of the scientist at a second trip involving both tourists and researchers. Ultimately, the merger of the travellers and researchers on a trip to ancient cities is advantageous, as it facilitates discovery and scientific procedures. On the other hand, the collaboration could be disastrous as travellers could be totally distracted by various artefacts and awesome sites during the course of this journey. For example, a tourist who travels with a scientist for the first time to a remote location, appreciates some awesome monuments and artefacts, thus, takes to photography, forgetting the primary purpose of their journey. Then, the purpose of a scientific personnel and a traveller on a trip becomes futile. In conclusion, the collaboration of a scientific personnel and a tourist migrating through remote natural part of the world is quite beneficial, particularly for a tourist who is not easily distracted and loves research to some extent.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourist
and scientist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
collaboration
in migration to ancient natural environments such as
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
south pole
is a recent development, which facilitates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and results, by
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimising' is British English.
minimising
time spent in search of a quest.
However
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
collaboration
could have its downside, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
could be
highly
distracted by other
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefact' is British English.
artefact
which are not of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
importance.
As a result
, academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
parties and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
travelling together to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
environs has its benefits and disadvantages.

The migration of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researchers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
natural environment has its benefit, which is time maximization,
ultimately
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
speeds up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
processes and results.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourist
are
usually
familiar with the geography of distance vicinity,
hence
, enables the academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researchers
to locate their specific quest and other sites needed to
be researched
without perambulating.
For instance
, the geographical location of a tree from which medications for hemorrhagic fever was
initially
secured was
first
spotted by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
on their initial tour. This initial discovery by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
facilitated the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
process of the scientist at a second trip involving both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researchers
.
Ultimately
, the merger of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
researchers
on a trip to ancient cities is advantageous, as it facilitates discovery and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
procedures.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
collaboration
could be disastrous as
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
could be
totally
distracted by various
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
and awesome sites during the course of this journey.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
who travels with a scientist for the
first
time to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
location, appreciates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
awesome monuments and
Possible spelling mistake. 'artefacts' is British English.
artefacts
,
thus
, takes to photography, forgetting the primary purpose of their journey. Then, the purpose of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
personnel and a
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
on a trip becomes futile.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
collaboration
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
personnel and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
migrating through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
remote
natural part of the world is quite beneficial,
particularly
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
who is not
easily
distracted and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The graphs below show the primary social networking of British users in 2010 and projected figures for 2018. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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