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Some people believe that social networking sites are not doing enough to protect users' privacy. However, others believe that it is not the responsibility of the sites; instead, users should be more careful about what they make available online. Discu v.1

Some people believe that social networking sites are not doing enough to protect users' privacy. However, others believe that it is not the responsibility of the sites; instead, users should be more careful about what they make available online. Discu v. 1
It’s better to avoid health issues and sickness rather than seeking medicaments and cure. The government should spend more funds for these purposes. In my opinion, I agree that administrative funds must be used to eradicate medical issues and sickness. However, we must live a healthy lifestyle and be cautious of our daily living. People who have not practiced healthy living might find it difficult preventing sickness and issues. Which means that they will be exposed easily to germs and bacteria, which they might not have the golden opportunity to public benefits. For example, my late grandpa never had the opportunity to the benefit of the public funding despite working for more than two decades, but his family was financially stable and could take good care of him before he passed away. Also, most less-privileged people are careful these days of developing any health issues because they have less chances of benefiting from the governments. The human-right lawyers should ensure the public funds are circulated to every medical centres in both rural and urban areas which is the best way to utilize it. There should be an organization that monitors the spending of the governments in order to ensure general benefits get to every individual in the country. Many nations across the globe has several means of reaching out to their citizens to make sure the nation funds get to them. For instance, a cousin who is a citizen of the UK is entitled to all benefits such as, medical, feeding etc. However, if the government can start up a censor plan in the country, I am sure the funding and other important benefits will reach every citizen of the nation. In conclusion, public funding should be used effectively to help and reduce health problems, which is by supplying free medications and care to the country citizen.
It’s better to avoid health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
and sickness
rather
than seeking
Possible spelling mistake found.
medicaments
and cure. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spend more funds for these purposes.

In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that administrative funds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to eradicate medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
and sickness.
However
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a healthy lifestyle and be cautious of our daily living.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who have not practiced healthy living might find it difficult preventing sickness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. Which means that they will
be exposed
easily
to germs and bacteria, which they might not have the golden opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
benefits.

For example
, my late grandpa never had the opportunity to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefit
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
funding despite working for more than two decades,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
his family was
financially
stable and could take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
care of him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
he passed away.
Also
, most less-privileged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are careful these days of developing any health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun chances is countable.
less
chances of benefiting from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
. The human-right lawyers should ensure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
funds
are circulated
to every medical
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
in both rural and urban areas which is the best way to utilize it.

There should be an organization that monitors the spending of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
in order to ensure general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to every individual in the country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
nations across the globe has several means of reaching out to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure the nation funds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to them.
For instance
, a cousin who is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
of the UK
is entitled
to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
such as, medical, feeding etc.
However
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
up a censor plan in the country, I am sure the funding and other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
will reach every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
of the nation.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
funding should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
effectively
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
health problems, which is by supplying free medications and care to the country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizen
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Some people believe that social networking sites are not doing enough to protect users' privacy. However, others believe that it is not the responsibility of the sites; instead, users should be more careful about what they make available online. Discu v. 1

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
307 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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