Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that social networking sites are not doing enough to protect users' privacy. However, others believe that it is not the responsibility of the sites; instead, users should be more careful about what they make available online. D v.4

Some people believe that social networking sites are not doing enough to protect users' privacy. However, others believe that it is not the responsibility of the sites; instead, users should be more careful about what they make available online. D v. 4
Two days ago, I read an article about who is in charge of protecting private life on social networking. Some social workers state that these websites should take responsibility for providing it. However, some website designers claim that users should care about it themselves. In this essay, I will examine both points of view and agree with the idea of obliging social networking sites to secure privacy. Let us start with the reasons why some social workers argue that these social websites should protect confidentiality. The first reason is that they usually keep personal information in their databases. Social networking sites can easily restrict the access to private details, such as photos and phone numbers, since they have store and grant permission in their own data centers. Another reason is that they let others browse the personal information without alerting the owners by default. Many social networking websites leave the information relating to personal viewable on the web, which criminals can take advantage of against the owners. Therefore, after analyzing these reasons, it is clear that social networking sites should limit access to the personal data. Nevertheless, some website designers advocate that users should manage their personal information on their own. They justify their opinion with the following arguments. Firstly, they have the right to decide what to do with their private information. People generally want to decide themselves either to open or close their front pages to the world, so it would be unfair, if websites did it for them. Secondly, this type of websites often provide various safety options for users to choose from. Facebook, for example, allows people to hide their pages either partly or totally, so they can grant a limited number of people access to their personal life. As a result, after considering these arguments, it is obvious that people should individually take care of their privacy on social networking sites. In conclusion, although some website designers say that users should take responsibility for the safety of their personal data, I believe that social networking sites should take measures instead of individuals for the above mentioned reasons.
Two days ago, I read an article about who is in charge of protecting private life on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
workers state that these websites should take responsibility for providing it.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
website
designers claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
should care about it themselves. In this essay, I will examine both points of view and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of obliging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
to secure privacy.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
workers argue that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
websites should protect confidentiality. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that they
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in their databases.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
can
easily
restrict the access to private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, such as photos and phone numbers, since they have store and grant permission in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
data centers. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
others browse the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
without alerting the owners by default.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking websites
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
relating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
viewable on the web, which criminals can take advantage of against the owners.
Therefore
, after analyzing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
should limit access to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
data.

Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
website
designers advocate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
should manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. They justify their opinion with the following arguments.
Firstly
, they have the right to decide what to do with their private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
generally
want to decide themselves either to open or close their front pages to the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it would be unfair, if websites did it for them.
Secondly
, this type of websites
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
provide various safety options for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
to choose from. Facebook,
for example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
their pages either partly or
totally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can grant a limited number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
access to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
life.
As a result
, after considering these arguments, it is obvious that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
individually
take care of their privacy on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking sites.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
website
designers say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
users
should take responsibility for the safety of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
data, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
should take measures
instead
of individuals for the above mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that social networking sites are not doing enough to protect users' privacy. However, others believe that it is not the responsibility of the sites; instead, users should be more careful about what they make available online. D v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
352 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts