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Some people believe that social networking sites are not doing enough to protect users' privacy. However, others believe that it is not the responsibility of the sites; instead, users should be more careful about what they make available online. D v.2

Some people believe that social networking sites are not doing enough to protect users' privacy. However, others believe that it is not the responsibility of the sites; instead, users should be more careful about what they make available online. D v. 2
Nowadays, it is popular to go to colleges and universities abroad, which is a highly controversial issue among students and their parents. There is no doubt that choosing to study abroad is extremely beneficial and its advantages outweigh its drawbacks. On the one hand, there are a plenty of advantages of choosing to study overseas. Firstly, students become more familiar with the new cultures, which is crucial in the modern global world and has a huge impact on being a global person. For instance, when students come to Turkey, they can get familiar with the Turkish cuisine and taste the local foods, which would be a breathtaking experience. These types of changes may enlarge their knowledge about the kitchen and perspective of food. Secondly, being abroad can offer the expansion of social and professional networks, which is vital in a professional career via international contacts. For example, people can get job offers more easily when they have an international background and a network of social connections. On the other hand, studying abroad may bring about some difficulties, which can be harmful and destructive. One problem is the cost of going abroad to study can be too high for the average citizen. For instance, in some country accommodation and tuition fee may be as high as the minimum wage of that country. Another drawback is associated with that students may experience culture shock and adaptation issues, which is quite common among newbies. The culture and the conditions of the country where they study may be different to their own culture or life styles and these differences may cause students to feel alienated. In conclusion, while studying abroad brings about some disadvantages in terms of high cost of education and culture shock, it proves to be beneficial for students since it enables students to become more familiar with new cultures and expand their social and professional networks.
Nowadays, it is popular to go to colleges and universities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
, which is a
highly
controversial issue among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and their parents. There is no doubt that choosing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
is
extremely
beneficial and its advantages outweigh its drawbacks.

On the one hand, there are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of advantages of choosing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
overseas.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
become more familiar with the new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
, which is crucial in the modern global world and has a huge impact on being a global person.
For instance
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to Turkey, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with the Turkish cuisine and taste the local foods, which would be a breathtaking experience. These types of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
may enlarge their knowledge about the kitchen and perspective of food.
Secondly
, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
can offer the expansion of social and professional networks, which is vital in a professional career via international contacts.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
job offers more
easily
when they have an international background and a network of social connections.

On the other hand
, studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
may bring about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties, which can be harmful and destructive. One problem is the cost of going
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
can be too high for the average citizen.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
country accommodation and tuition fee may be as high as the minimum wage of that country. Another drawback
is associated
with that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
shock and adaptation issues, which is quite common among newbies. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and the conditions of the country where they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
or life styles and these differences may cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to feel alienated.

In conclusion
, while studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
brings about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages in terms of high cost of education and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
shock, it proves to be beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
since it enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to become more familiar with new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and expand their social and professional networks.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that social networking sites are not doing enough to protect users' privacy. However, others believe that it is not the responsibility of the sites; instead, users should be more careful about what they make available online. D v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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