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The graph shows average carbon dioxide emissions per person in the UK, Sweden, Italy, and Portugal between 1967 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting the main features and make comparison where relevant. v.1

The graph shows average carbon dioxide emissions per person in the UK, Sweden, Italy, and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.
Nowadays, there is an increasing in the rate of crime, whether it is committed or not, but it still affects many victims and people who involve with the situations. There are several reasons and causes of crime that can be clarified throughout this essay. In this essay, I will be discussing about the causes of crime. To begin with, there are several causes for people to commit crime. First, it may also happen because of the economy. People who live in the countries that have large gaps between rich and poor people may experience crime more often than countries that people are treated equally. This is because people who live under pressure for example, unemployment people, they may not have enough money to take care of themselves and their families. With this reason, it drives some of them to commit crime such as stealing, robbing and using violence. Second of all, apart from the economy, personal feeling and thought also contribute to people who do something badly. For instance, to commit crime, the criminal can just feel jealous or hate the victims so they use violence against the person. Besides, criminals can receive an order from someone else and do it for people who are in the upper position or their bosses. However, there are many solutions that can be made to prevent these unwanted situations. First, governments should assure that their citizens are treated and lived equally, so no one is abandoned and suffered from the economy. For example, the government may try to provide extra classes for people to gain more skills in order to find jobs that are suitable for them. Secondly, people who relevant should make laws effective, in this case, they have to punish people who commit crime and take it seriously. In conclusion, the main causes of crime should be mentioned by people because it can drive to the proper solutions, which should not only be made by the governments, but also people who relevant to the situations as well.
Nowadays, there is an increasing in the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, whether it
is committed
or not,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
still
affects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
victims and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
involve with the situations. There are several reasons and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
that can
be clarified
throughout this essay. In this essay, I will be
Did you mean simply "discussing the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discussing about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of crime.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
First
, it may
also
happen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the economy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the countries that have large gaps between rich and poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
than countries that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are treated
equally
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
under pressure
for example
, unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they may not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to take care of themselves and their families. With this reason, it drives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
such as stealing, robbing and using violence.

Second of all, apart from the economy, personal feeling and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
also
contribute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do something
badly
.
For instance
, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, the criminal can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
feel jealous or hate the victims
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
violence against the person.
Besides
, criminals can receive an order from someone else and do it for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are in the upper position or their bosses.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
solutions that can
be made
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
these unwanted situations.
First
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should assure that their citizens
are treated
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
equally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
no one
is abandoned
and suffered from the economy.
For example
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
may try to provide extra classes for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to gain more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in order to find jobs that are suitable for them.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
relevant should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
laws effective,
in this case
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
punish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and take it
seriously
.

In conclusion
, the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
should
be mentioned
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can drive to the proper solutions, which should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be made
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
relevant to the situations
as well
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay The graph shows average carbon dioxide emissions per person in the UK, Sweden, Italy, and Portugal between 1967 and 2007.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
336 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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