Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The graph illustrates differences between computer ownership by education level. Write an essay with at least 150 words to describe it. v.1

The graph illustrates differences between computer ownership by education level. Write an essay with at least 150 words to describe it. v. 1
In this day and age, the environment is becoming more polluted because one of the reasons is that the growth in making customer products. There are a number of causes of this and the problem can be resolved by several solutions. It is undeniable that some reasons of the production of goods have much discussed. The most obvious evidence is that factories discharge sewage into the ocean and exhaust fumes in the air. In fact, the processes of making goods need to release waste materials; therefore, these waste materials exert adverse effects on the nature. Furthermore, the appearance of factories and companies decrease the nature lands, including forests or villages. For example, in a rural area of Vietnam, a large number of trees demolished in a forest is to erect factories with the aim of producing iron, which is used for manufacturing cars. Hence, citizens in there will lose an amount of Oxy from the trees. There are a number of solutions to reduce the detrimental impacts. First, governments should impose strict laws related to the discharge of waste to manufacturers. If the amount of waste and exhaust fumes is higher than regulatory amount, the factories or companies have to be punished. This leads to that the governments may control the waste and minimize the pollution. Second, governments can request and encourage factories and the inhabitants grow plants. The factories need to grow an equal number of trees that they damaged at another place. As a result, it can be balanced for the number of trees. In conclusion, the issue is derived from some causes, and a number of solutions can minimize the negative effects on the environment.
In this day and age, the environment is becoming more polluted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
one of the reasons is that the growth in making customer products. There are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of causes of this and the problem can
be resolved
by several solutions.

It is undeniable that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons of the production of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
have much discussed. The most obvious evidence is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
discharge sewage into the ocean and exhaust fumes in the air. In fact, the processes of making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
need to release
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
materials;
therefore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
materials exert adverse effects on the nature.
Furthermore
, the appearance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
decrease the nature lands, including forests or villages.
For example
, in a rural area of Vietnam, a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of trees demolished in a forest is to erect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
with the aim of producing iron, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for manufacturing cars.
Hence
, citizens in there will lose an amount of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Oxy
from the trees.

There are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the detrimental impacts.
First
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should impose strict laws related to the discharge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
to manufacturers. If the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
and exhaust fumes is higher than regulatory amount, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be punished
. This leads to that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
may control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
and minimize the pollution. Second,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can request and encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
and the inhabitants grow plants. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factories
need to grow an equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of trees that they damaged at another place.
As a result
, it can
be balanced
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of trees.

In conclusion
, the issue
is derived
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
causes, and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of solutions can minimize the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on the environment.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The graph illustrates differences between computer ownership by education level. Write an essay with at least 150 words to describe it. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts