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The graph below shows the population figures of different types of wild birds in the United Kingdom between 1970 and 2004. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The graph below shows the population figures of different types of wild birds in the United Kingdom between 1970 and 2004.
An increasing number of people prefer purchasing ready-made foods instead of cooking at home. In my opinion, the drawbacks, such as health issues and the cost, associated with this trend clearly outweigh any or all possible benefits. In recent times, most people find ready to eat meals more convenient. This is primarily because they are busier in their work as well as family obligations than ever before. This leaves them with no time or even no energy to cook for themselves on a daily basis. Alleviation of stress is the other benefit many people feel when they do not have to spare extra time for cooking from their busy schedules. This is so relaxing for them as they no more have to think about what to cook in the evening after completing the stressful day at work. Personally, I find these advantages less significant when I consider the risks associated with this development. Despite the above positives, I think people will suffer from many serious diseases, such as obesity, diabetes, and cardiovascular illnesses if they regularly eat meals at eateries or restaurants. This is due to the fact that this type of foods usually contains an excessive amount of salt, sugar, and fat, which is unhealthy to humans if consumed on a regular basis. Moreover, such food is usually more expensive than home-cooked meals as the sellers have to cover the cost of preparation and make a profit. For instance, most working people in India have to spend around 5000 rupees, which is about 20% of the monthly income of many people, every month if they decide to eat at their company’s canteen. This is why I feel this trend is not in favour of most people in our societies. To conclude, although people feel relaxed and more convenience when deciding to eat outside instead of cooking themselves, I argue that these advantages would cause them more harm than good, and they will have to face more fitness and finance-related challenges in the future.
An increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer purchasing ready-made foods
instead
of cooking at home. In my opinion, the drawbacks, such as health issues and the cost, associated with this trend
clearly
outweigh any or all possible benefits.

In recent times, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find ready to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
meals more convenient. This is
primarily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are busier in their work
as well
as family obligations than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
them with no time or even no energy to cook for themselves on a daily basis. Alleviation of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
is the other benefit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel when they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spare extra time for cooking from their busy schedules. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
relaxing for them as they no more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about what to cook in the evening after completing the stressful day at work.
Personally
, I find these advantages less significant when I consider the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
associated with this development.

Despite the above positives, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will suffer from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
serious diseases, such as obesity, diabetes, and cardiovascular illnesses if they
regularly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
meals at eateries or restaurants.
This is due to the fact that
this type of foods
usually
contains an excessive amount of salt, sugar, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, which is unhealthy to humans if consumed on a regular basis.
Moreover
, such food is
usually
more expensive than home-cooked meals as the sellers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
cover the cost of preparation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a profit.
For instance
, most working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in India
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend around 5000 rupees, which is about 20% of the monthly income of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, every month if they decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
at their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s canteen. This is why I feel this trend is not in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in our societies.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel relaxed and more convenience when deciding to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eat
outside
instead
of cooking themselves, I argue that these advantages would cause them more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, and they will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face more fitness and finance-related challenges in the future.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The graph below shows the population figures of different types of wild birds in the United Kingdom between 1970 and 2004.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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